


We Begin Where the Story Ends

by yeolallineed



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: BaekYeol - Freeform, ChanBaek - Freeform, Chanbaek Smut, EXO - Freeform, EXO AU, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fuckboy Chanyeol, Happy Ending, High School AU, M/M, Side Pairing- Sehun/Kai, Side pairing- Kai/Chanyeol, Slice of Life, Smut, Texting, baekhyun with a past he wants to hide, chanbaek au, exo high school, exo high school au, unique words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-12-07 16:03:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20978612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeolallineed/pseuds/yeolallineed
Summary: Chanyeol is a fuckboy and Baekhyun is a new transfer with a past to hide. Despite obvious attraction towards each other, Chanyeol and Baekhyun can't be together because one night, Chanyeol sleeps with Kai who is Baekhyun's friend. Only problem, it was nothing more than sex for Chanyeol while Kai is in love with him. Also, Chanyeol already likes someone. And everything is a mess.





	We Begin Where the Story Ends

> **_Forelsket (adj):_ ** _ The euphoria you experience when you are first falling in love._

“Hi” a voice called as I looked up from the sandwich I was eating. It was someone I had never seen before.

“Hi”

“Can I sit here?” the boy seemed my age but I wasn’t sure if we were in the same class.

“Um… sure”

“Thanks” he said and took the half empty bench I was sitting on.

“You’re in first year, aren’t you?” the boy proceeded to ask and I nodded curtly, not wanting to start a conversation so early in the morning. Well it was technically lunch hour but it was still too early for my likes. 

“I am in the first year too” he said with a smile which I did not return. “I am Kai, by the way”

I noticed that he had stretched his hand out but I was not interested in returning the courtesy. I finished my sandwich quickly and walked away, leaving a very puzzled Kai behind.

As I walked through the school ground, the only thing I noticed was clusters of people. Everyone existed in groups, everyone had people called friends, whereas I stood in contrast, friendless and alone.

I was never good at making friends but the handful ones I had made in my last school, turned out to be worse than my enemies. It got so bad that I had to change schools and when I finally got around to convincing myself that this year things would be different, I knew it would be achieved with only one decision, to remain friendless.

I maneuvered through my classes post lunch, one after the other and just when school day was about to get over, my phone buzzed. It was a message from my older brother.

‘Mum and dad are out of town. I am having friends over, can you stay at a friend’s place tonight?’

I stared at the bubble in shock. Friends? I had no friends and my brother knew that more than anyone.

‘Why can’t I just join the party?’ I texted back.

‘Because we’re all going to get drunk and last I checked, you were a minor and I don’t really think jail is going to suit my complexion. Go drink with people your age if you don’t want any trouble’

Ugh sometimes I hated my brother. Maybe I could stay late at the school? Deciding to do just that, I figured staying at the library was my best option. I could always go home later, just in time to sleep.

Since the school was over, the library was secluded with just a few people working in silence. I walked in and took a seat by the window. I had to turn in a column for the term paper and this looked like a good opportunity to start working on that.

Just when I was about to take my laptop out of my bag, someone approached me and took the seat on my opposite.

“Hey” the girl said.

I did not reply, hoping my lack of answer will make her leave immediately. But boy was I wrong.

“I am hosting a party at 7” the girl said, passing me a flier, “and you’re invited”

“Why?” I asked. I had never been invited to any party before.

“You’re in first year, right?” she asked and I nodded.

“Well it’s important for us to socialize, you know, to be relevant with the seniors”

“I don’t want to be relevant” I replied coldly.

My answer took the girl by surprise, like she wondered what kind of person doesn’t want to be known by others.

Despite her obvious shock to what I had said, she smiled and pushed the flier firmly to my side. “You can just come and hang around then”

With that, she left.

I stared at the paper in my hand. The address wasn’t too far from the school campus and I could just walk over if I wanted to. But I didn’t. This school had nothing that would make me want to break my resolve.

I folded the flier and stuffed it in my bag and decided to start working on the school paper column instead. It was a little over 3 in the afternoon and if I was efficient with my ideas, I could finish writing something good in a couple of hours.

Staring out the window as my laptop turned on, I noticed the girl with the flier going up to various people in the school ground. She handed them a paper and earned a nod and a smile in return.

“I guess the entire school was going to be at the party.” I whispered to myself and wondered if I should go too.

Shaking my head, I focused back on the column.

With a blank word file opened in front of me, and the continuous blink of the cursor, I wondered what I should write about.

I was asked to write a personal column, something about me, with a topic that was close to my heart but the only problem was, I wasn’t really interested in anything personal. If they gave me topics of war or the exploitation of poor countries by rich ones, I could write a book on them but to write on a topic I wasn’t even sure about, was new for me.

How was I supposed to write about me when I didn’t even know me?

Despite my apprehensions, I began typing.

After about three hours, I looked at the piece I had written. All 30 words of it. I had decided to write about my life since I moved to this school but once I read the introduction that I had written, it looked fake and impersonal.

Frustrated that I had wasted three hours on something I would probably end up deleting, I shut my laptop and looked at my watch. It was 6.45 in the evening and for a second, my mind wandered to the party I had been invited to. My eyes flickered between my watch and my laptop.

“Fuck it” I said. If I had to write a compelling column on my life, I had to start living it first.

With this thought in my mind, I decided to pack my bag and head over to the party that would start at 7.

> ** _Koi No Yokan (n):_ ** _ The sense one has upon meeting a person for the first time, and knowing that a future love between them is inevitable. _

When I reached the party, I realized it was packed. Literally all of high school was there and there was hardly any space left to walk through. Empty bottles and cans of beer lay recklessly on the floors and although it was only 7.30, some people seemed tipsy like they had been drinking for many hours.

I made my way to the kitchen, hoping to find something to eat before I started drinking as I hadn’t eaten anything since lunch. Once I was in the kitchen, I saw someone I recognized.

The boy from lunch, Kai was leaning against the kitchen counter as he spoke to his friend who was shorter in height and wore thick framed glasses. 

“But he’s so hot” Kai said at which his friend rolled his eyes. “And he’s single”

“How do you know he’s single?”

“Oh come on Kyungsoo” Kai said and I made a mental note that the shorter one’s name was Kyungsoo. “He’s just sitting there talking to his friend. If he was dating someone, don’t you think he would be making out in a room or something?”

My eyes automatically followed Kai’s and I finally saw who he was talking about. The hot guy which Kai mentioned, was the tall senior from 3rd year, as I presumed. I didn’t know his name but I had seen him around a couple of times.

“I am going to talk to him” Kai announced and before his friend could stop him, he walked away from the kitchen.

It was none of my business so I pretended to not hear what they had talked about and focused my attention on the food on the table. Almost every plate was empty and my eyes fell on the last piece of fritter. As I reached out to pick it up, I noticed that the boy called Kyungsoo had done the same. I withdrew my hand immediately.

“Go ahead” I said.

“No please, you take it”

I shook my head. “You went for it first, you can have it”

Kyungsoo showed no emotions and picked the fritter up. I had to admit I was more than a little disappointed. I was about to turn away when he stopped me.

“Here” he said, handing me half of the fritter. “We can share”

I really was famished so I took his offering and wolfed it down immediately.

“If you eat like that, you’ll die” he said with his same expressionless face.

“Will you become immortal if you eat any better?” I asked. It came out more condescending that I had intended to.

“What’s your name?” He asked. “I am Kyungsoo”

“I am Baekhyun” I replied.

“Who are you with?” Kyungsoo asked.

“No one”

Kyungsoo studied my face for a minute before speaking. “Now you’re with me”

I blinked. “I don’t really want to barge in on you and your friend”

Kyungsoo turned around and so did I. We saw Kai wrapped up against the tall senior from 3rd year that he had been crushing on, lips locked and hands all over each other.

Making a disgusted face, Kyungsoo then turned to me. “I hate parties and the only reason I am here is because my best friend dragged me to it. So when I say you’re with me, I mean you’re with me”

“I… okay” I said, unsure of what had just happened.

Before I could comprehend, Kyungsoo opened the shelf near the kitchen sink and rummaged through the items before finding a box of Pringles. He picked the box up, grabbed two chilled cans of beers and looked at me.

“Let’s go” he said.

I followed quietly because honestly, anything was better than sulking at a party, alone and drunk. We walked up the stairs and Kyungsoo quickly found an empty room at the end of the hall.

“You don’t mind being a little cold, do you?” he asked as we entered the room and I shook my head.

“Good” he replied and immediately walked over to the glass door on the opposite side of where we were standing. Sliding it, he stepped out. “Come on” he said.

“We’re sitting out there?” I asked and he nodded, still no giveaway expressions on his face.

“Grab two cushions” he said and I rushed over.

He placed the two cushions, each on the opposite ends of the balcony before handing me a can of beer and the box of Pringles.

“Eat before you start drinking” he said, positioning himself on the other end comfortably.

I didn’t think much about it and opened the box of Pringles before I stuffed my face with it.

“I told you you’ll die if you eat like that”

“I am okay with that, as long as I don’t die hungry”

That’s when I saw the first hint of smile on Kyungsoo’s face.

“How come I’ve never seen you around?” he asked.

I shrugged. “I usually keep to myself”

“No friends?”

I shook my head.

“Don’t want to or can’t have any?”

His question took me by surprise. No one had asked me why I had no friends before. They had all just assumed I was an introvert.

“A little of both I guess” I replied.

“I get it”

“You do?”

Kyungsoo nodded. “Personally I hate people. They’re all so stupid”

“But you still have a friend, Kai, right?”

“Oh you know him?” Kyungsoo asked, a little surprised by the fact.

“He sat beside me at lunch”

“So you’re the asshole who treated him rudely?”

I squinted my eyes at him.

“His words, not mine” Kyungsoo said, raising his arms in surrender. “He’s practically the only friend I have. You see Kai functions on people’s approval and acceptance. Making friends, going to parties, hooking up with popular guys, these things are very important to him. It’s not his fault, that’s all he’s seen growing up but these people whose acceptance he wants, they think of Kai as annoying and desperate. So at the end of the day, he has a lot of people he calls friends but all those people, don’t think of him as one”

“Except you” I said and Kyungsoo raised his eyebrows at me.

“What can I say, Kai makes coming to high school bearable. And I am not the easiest person to hang out with either. So in a way, we’re both helping each other out”

“That’s really nice of you two”

“So what’s your story?”

“My story?” I asked.

“People don’t usually transfer to a new school in the beginning of high school Baekhyun”

“I...” I began, but I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know where to begin. Before I could say anything else, the door to the bedroom flung open and in came Kai with the senior he was making out with.

I and Kyungsoo exchanged nervous glances before we saw the senior pin Kai to the bed and take his own shirt off.

“Should we…”

“No” Kyungsoo said. And I guess he was right. It would be more embarrassing for us to barge in on them than them being interrupted. 

The corners of the balcony were hidden from the view inside the room so if we were quiet and didn’t walk in on them, they’d probably never know we were there.

“I am sure they’ll leave soon” Kyungsoo said and I nodded.

Both I and Kyungsoo stared out into the open sky but the weirdness of everything happening inside the room still lingered in the air.

We stayed silent as I continued eating Pringles and Kyungsoo continued sipping beer.

“I should have brought more cans” he said after a while.

“Do you think they’ve left?” I asked.

I locked my eyes with Kyungsoo and a mutual silent agreement was formed that we’d turn out heads together to check if Kai and his makeout partner had left or not.

Slowly, we turned towards the room.

“Oh my god…” Kyungsoo said.

“Are they… are they having sex?”

I wanted to gouge my eyes out and I was pretty sure Kyungsoo felt the same because he looked like he would puke. Suddenly I lost all my appetite.

We turned away immediately and the moment of absolute horror was followed by a long, excruciating silence.

After what seemed like half an hour, I spoke up. “They must have left”

Kyungsoo didn’t move, neither said anything.

“Should we chec…”

“No” he cried out.

“How will we know if we don’t turn around?”

“Fine” he said after a while. “You check”

Even though I didn’t want to, I knew I had to because it was getting late and the temperature was beginning to drop.

“I will peep for less than a second”

Kyungsoo nodded. He was fine as long as it wasn’t him who had to do it.

Turning my head slowly, I tried to look through my peripheral vision. But before I could, the glass door slid open and both Kyungsoo and I jumped out of our skins.

Wearing nothing but underwear, the senior that Kai just had sex with, stepped out. Under the orange light of the street lamp, his body looked like it was specially carved out of marble. For a minute I forgot where we were and what we were doing there.

“Enjoyed the show?” he asked, stacking himself against the metal railing as he lit a cigarette up.

Turning around, he looked at Kyungsoo first and then at me but his eyes lingered on me far longer than they did on Kyungsoo.

Neither of us was in any state to speak.

“Where’s Kai?” Kyungsoo asked after a while.

“I don’t know”

Kyungsoo got up and looked at me. “Let’s go” he said and I nodded. I looked at the semi naked guy one last time and found his eyes fixed on me. I looked away immediately. Leaving the box of Pringles and the empty cans of beers right on the balcony, I immediately ran after Kyungsoo, wanting to be as far away from that senior and the room, as possible.

> ** _Sobremesa (n):_ ** _ time spent around a table after a meal; time to digest and savor food and friendship._

I didn’t see Kyungsoo or Kai for the rest of the week. It was mainly because we had no classes in common but I was kind of avoiding them after what had happened in that bedroom.

It was only during the mid of next week that Kyungsoo found me in the cafeteria at lunch.

“Hey” he said, taking the seat on my opposite.

“Hi” I said with a slight nod. His expressionless face never gave me a hint if things between us were normal or still uncomfortable.

I saw him wave his hand to someone and I turned around to find Kai walking towards us. He had two trays in his hand and was walking over slowly to avoid any spillage.

“Why do you have so much food?” Kyungsoo asked once Kai placed the trays on the table.

He looked at me and smiled before turning his attention to Kyungsoo. It was a very casual greeting like he and I had been friends since ages. But all I could think about when I looked at him, was that night.

“One’s for us and one’s for Chanyeol” he said with a smile.

I noticed Kyungsoo’s face turn stiff.

“Who’s Chanyeol?” I asked and Kai looked at me like I was an alien. Well his stare did make me feel like one.

“You don’t know who Chanyeol is?”

I shook my head.

“The hottest guy in high school. 3rd year senior and the love of my life”

“Oh is he the one you were…” I began but noticed Kyungsoo shaking his head curtly, indicating me to not mention what we saw that day. I wasn’t going to anyway because just the thought of it made me feel nauseated. “… making out with at the party?”

“Duh” Kai said like it was a common knowledge.

“You know you’re being stupid right?” Kyungsoo asked but Kai ignored the question.

“There he comes” Kai said, excitedly jumping and I turned my head.

Swarming through the doors of the cafeteria, I saw the group of 3rd year senior boys walk in, with Kai’s love interest, Chanyeol, leading their way. Had this been a movie, the scene would have played out in slow motion with Chanyeol walking in slowly and taking a total of eternity to find his way from the door to his seat.

“Kai don’t do anything desperate”

“There’s nothing desperate in love, silly” Kai replied and I wondered what was going on. Were him and this Chanyeol a thing now?

“Has he told you that he loves you?” Kyungsoo asked.

“No” Kai said, sounding low.

“Has he returned any of your calls?”

Kai shook his head. He looked like he would cry any minute now.

“Has he returned any of your texts?”

Kai remained silent for a second. “No. But last night I sent him a text asking if he wants to hang out and he replied with ‘whatever’”

“In what language does that speak of love?”

Kyungsoo was right. This seemed like Kai was desperate to find love where there was none. But how rude was this Chanyeol guy? Who fucks someone and ignores their calls and texts like that? Rich spoilt brat.

“I don’t know Kyungsoo but he could have chosen to ignore me like all those times, but he didn’t, okay. I just think he’s a little shy”

“You think Park Fucking Chanyeol is shy?” Kyungsoo asked in agitation. “The guy who fucks every moving object, the guy who has a new person to sleep with every day, the guy who once walked around the school campus naked because of a dare, you think that guy is shy?”

“Things are different when you’re in a relationship Kyungsoo” Kai said. His voice seemed to be breaking and I didn’t know if it was Kyungsoo or himself that he was trying to convince. “People behave differently in relationships”

“But you’re not…” He began but I looked at him and shook my head, asking him to stop speaking.

He let out a sigh. “Fine. Bring him his lunch. But I swear to god Kai, if he rejects you, I will not take this love nonsense anymore”

Straightening his shoulders, Kai put a smile on his face. Picking up the lunch tray, he proceeded to walk over to where Chanyeol was sitting with his friends.

I had to admit that I was pretty nervous for Kai and if I was feeling so jittery, I could only imagine what Kai must have been feeling.

I and Kyungsoo kept out gazes fixed on Kai.

When he walked over, no one from Chanyeol’s lunch table looked up at him. I saw Kai struggling to interrupt them but nothing was working. Chanyeol was a complete jerk who did not even acknowledge Kai’s presence and it made me angry. I knew guys like Chanyeol, I was practically surrounded by them in my last school. Guys who treated everyone beneath them and only thought of themselves as the most superior beings.

My knuckles tightened against the back of the chair that I was holding. Kai just stood there, confused and probably scared for his life. I could no longer hold my anger in. I was about to get up when suddenly Chanyeol glanced at Kai. He said something that was inaudible but in the very next moment, Kai nodded, placing the tray on his table, and smiled. I though I had hallucinated but for a fraction of second, it seemed like Chanyeol’s eyes turned towards us before he said something to Kai.

Nodding again, Kai turned away from them and started walking towards us, the smile still plastered on his face.

“What happened?” Kyungsoo asked, brimming with curiosity and I guess I was dying to find out too.

“He invited us to a party” Kai beamed, unable to contain his excitement.

“Us?” Kyungsoo asked.

Kai nodded. “Yeah. All of us”

I choked on the iced latte I was drinking. “I am invited too?”

Kai shrugged. “He asked me to bring my friends and since you and Kyungsoo are friends, I guess you and I are friends too”

“Who are friends now?” a voice called from behind Kai as someone snuck their arms around his shoulder.

“Hey Suho” both Kyungsoo and Kai said.

“Him and us” Kai replied, pointing towards me.

“Oh new addition, I am excited”

I did not know what was happening. In less than a few minutes, I went from having no friends to having three. And this was exactly what I had been afraid of. I shook my head, cursing myself for going to that party to begin with.

“When is the party?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Friday” Kai replied.

Suho was about to ask something when he suddenly stopped.

We all turned to see a guy suddenly pass us. I had seen him hang out with that Chanyeol guy a lot. He was almost the same height as Chanyeol, and really was worth noticing when he walked by. It was like he carried an aura of awe within himself.

“Hey Suho” he said, winking at him.

Suho smiled at him and then turned towards us.

“You know Sehun?” Kai almost screamed, pointing towards him as he exited the cafeteria.

“Yeah” Suho said, voice low. “We have the a couple of classes together”

“Wait…” Kai looked confused. “He’s not in third year?”

“Huh?” Suho raised an eyebrow. “No. He is in first year with us. But he usually hangs around with that fuckboy Park Chanyeol for some reason”

“How do you know him?” Kyungsoo asked and I sunk in on the drama unfolding before me.

“I don’t know him. I just know of him” Suho said.

“Anyway” Kai said. “We’re all invited to Chanyeol’s party this Friday and you guys better not ditch me because my entire love life with my future husband depends on it”

> ** _Drapetomania (n):_ ** _ an overwhelming urge to run away_

Friday arrived, just like any other day did. I had started hanging out with Kyungsoo, Kai and Suho a lot and it wasn’t bad. I realized I had been worried about nothing. These people were not like the friends I had previously.

Kai had been so hyped up since the morning that he was thrown out of every class that day for being too loud.

At lunch, we gathered in the cafeteria to discuss how we were going to get to Chanyeol’s place.

“I can drive us there” Kyungsoo offered.

“No” Kai said. “You hate making pit stops”

“Why do we need to make pit stops?” Kyungoo asked.

“Because I need to go to the medical store”

“What for?”

“Duh” Kai said, rolling his eyes. “To buy condoms”

Suho let out a very disturbing snort that made me laugh. He looked at me like he would murder me right there before turning to Kai. “You think Park Chanyeol will sleep with you?”

“Umm he already did. And besides, why else would he invite me to the party?”

“Has he talked to you since he invited you?”

Kai did not respond. “Why does he need to talk to me when it is already decided?” he said, defensively.

“You’re driving” Kai added, turning to Suho. “And we’ll stop at the medical store”

Kyungsoo tried to say something but before he could, Kai got up and quickly left with Suho trailing behind him, asking for Chanyeol’s address.

“I think this is going to end really bad” Kyungsoo said, turning to me.

“That Park guy seems really untrustworthy” I said.

“He does, doesn’t he? But Kai refuses to see the truth”

I sighed. Kai was really deep down in the trenches of blinding love and I did not know what could save him.

After picking us all up and after duly buying, as I could count, twelve packets of condoms, we arrived at the party that was already raving. Unlike the party last time, there were selective people here and I presumed Chanyeol hadn’t invited that many of the students.

I noticed the place was crawling with mostly 3rd year students with exceptions of a handful 1st year once, excluding us.

Kai instantly located where Chanyeol was and rushed over to him while Suho, I and Kyungsoo went in search for beer.

We talked among ourselves for a while when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

“Baekhyun?” a voice called. “Is that really you?”

I turned around and when I saw the face staring at me, all blood drained from within me. I suddenly felt lightheaded, like I would stumble to the floor if I didn’t hold on to something concrete. Pressing my hand firmly on the table, I gathered support.

“Yi… Yixing” I said, trying to keep my voice firm. “What are you doing here?”

“I was invited by Chanyeol” he said, reaching in for a quick hug which I did not want to return. But I didn’t want to look suspicious so I hugged him back.

“Wait” he began, “You and Chanyeol are in the same school? Man! I knew you had transferred but I didn’t know you had transferred here”

I desperately wanted Yixing to stop talking and saying something I didn’t want out. But most of all, I felt like running away because seeing Yixing there, made me feel like my past was catching up to me.

“Umm this is Suho” I said, introducing him to Yixing and changing the topic, “and this is Kyungsoo, my friends”

Yixing shook their hands. “And this is Yixing” I said, “My senior from previous school”

Suho seemed disinterested but it was obvious that Kyungsoo had taken an interest in him.

“Ex senior of Baekhyun, huh?” Kyungsoo asked and my heart almost jumped at the mention of the word ‘ex’.

Yixing was about to reply when someone called him. He apologized and quickly left.

Kyungsoo stared after him and I only prayed for Yixing to not come back, ever.

I could see that Kyungsoo had many questions but I was not ready for any of them.

It was Suho who spoke first, taking our minds off Yixing. “Is… is Kai crying?”

Sitting in the corner of the living room, was Kai with his hand clutched around his knees, sobbing uncontrollably.

All three of us rushed over to see what was wrong.

“Kai, what happened?” Kyungsoo asked.

Kai looked up and stared at each of us before turning his eyes to something behind.

All three of us turned, to find Chanyeol sitting on the couch with a random guy from first year on his lap as they kissed the night away.

Was I really thinking too much because I swore I saw Chanyeol looking at me from the corner of his eyes. The moment our eyes met, he stopped kissing. He then glanced at Kai who was sobbing miserably and immediately, Chanyeol turned his attention to the boy on his lap again.

Before any of us could react, Chanyeol held the boy firmly before picking him up and walking up the stairs, presumably into his bedroom.

Neither of us believed what we saw and I noticed Kyungsoo had his ‘I-told-you-so’ face on, but he was mature enough to not shove the words on Kai.

“Come on, let’s get you home” Suho said and just like that, we left.

As I was leaving, I was kind of relieved that we wouldn’t have to encounter Yixing anymore and that made me feel kind of shitty because I knew this relief was drawn out of Kai’s suffering.

> ** _Querencia (n):_ ** _ A place where one feels safe, a place from which one’s strength or character is drawn_

The weekend was mostly a blur. My mind relentlessly kept wandering back to Yixing for some reason. Now that he knew where I was, would he tell the others? Will they come here, looking for me? Will I have to change schools again? How much longer would I have to keep running? I had been thinking the same thing since three nights and it resulted in me being unable to sleep at all.

Monday too, was nothing different from the past two days I’d spent, over-thinking. Somewhere between my episodes of sanity, I heard Kai cry again and Suho trying to console him while Kyungsoo ate his lunch in silence. I remembered nodding to their questions and replying to them but I had no recollection of what was asked and what I had said.

It was only when Kai slammed his hand on the cafeteria table, did I come back to earth from wherever I was.

“That’s it” he said, firmly. “I am not going to sit around and mope”

None of us spoke, I wasn’t sure if we knew what to say.

“I am going to talk to him” Kai continued.

“You’ve got to be kidding me” Kyungsoo let out. “You still want to talk to him?”

“Yes” Kai said. “I will ask him to make things clear. Maybe what happened with that other guy was a drunken mistake”

I had expected Kyungsoo to snap but it was Suho who yelled at him instead. “Snap out of it Kai. He is not in love with you. He is not in love with anyone.” He said, getting up.

“See that guy?” he pointed at a guy sitting at the far end of the cafeteria, eating in silence. “Chanyeol’s slept with him”

“See that one?” he asked, raising his hand to another guy in a hoodie, similar to what Chanyeol wore. “Chanyeol’s slept with him too”

“And do you see that one?” Suho pointed his finger to another guy at a table not too far from ours, “Him too”

Suho continued pointing to a bunch of more guys sitting there, saying Chanyeol had slept with them all and just the thought of it made me feel disgusted. How vile was this person?

“And this isn’t even a quarter of the people he’s fucked” Suho said.

For a second, some words of Suho got through to Kai but he shook himself back to his made up love story. “It’s all in the past Suho, I won’t judge him by who he’s slept with before he met me”

Suho let out a scoff. “Fine” he said. “Go and talk to him, please”

Kai nodded and got up.

“Suho” Kyungsoo said. “Are you fucking stupid?”

“What?” Suho asked. “Do you think you can stop him? I guess the best way to hit him with reality is if it came directly from the horse’s mouth”

Much like last week, we saw Kai walk up to Chanyeol’s table to talk to him. Kai said something and I saw Chanyeol’s face turn towards him with a smile. But I had a gut feeling that it wasn’t going to end well.

“Get up” I said in a rush.

“What’s wrong?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Just come with me, okay?” I said and quickly began my ascend towards where Kai was.

By the time we reached there, Kai’s face had turned white, like he had been drained of every ounce of blood in him. Chanyeol was saying something.

“… do you think you’re that important enough for me to remember your name?” was the last thing he asked before we got there.

That was all. These words were enough to break everything Kai was and had gathered within himself to walk up to Chanyeol. In less than a few seconds, Chanyeol had crushed Kai and his entire self-respect.

I didn’t know what came over me then but I snapped.

I pulled Kai behind me and looked at Chanyeol with a smile.

“You’re brilliant, you know that?” I asked and Chanyeol turned his eyes away from Kai to me.

“And you are?” he asked but I ignored.

“I wonder what trauma you’ve been through to treat someone like shit. Is it because your parents treat you like shit that you need to take it on someone else?”

I noticed how Chanyeol’s face stiffened at my words and I knew I had hit a nerve.

“Did mummy dearest ignore you because she was too busy getting drunk at parties? Or did daddy dearest never compliment you on your achievements?”

At that point, the entire cafeteria had turned silent and all eyes were directed towards us.

“Or is it because…” I said, turning my smile into a bigger smirk. “… your dick is too small for you to satisfy your partner that you need to sleep with so many to get validation?”

The moment I said that, I heard people in the cafeteria go ‘Snap’ and ‘Damn’.

The place roared with cheers and I destroyed Chanyeol, word by word.

He continued to stare at me like he would kill me any moment.

“Next time, see a doctor for your problem rather than taking it out on my friend” I finally said.

Turning around, I held Kai by his arm and all four of us walked away, but I could still feel Chanyeol’s eyes boring into the back of my head.

> ** _Abience (n):_ ** _ a strong urge to avoid something, someone. _

Suddenly I had become the unsung hero of the high school. Everyone I came across, knew who I was and what I had done. All those people Chanyeol had slept and forgotten about, suddenly saw me as their crusader who would avenge the shit Chanyeol made them go through.

It was not bad but I’d much rather be without the attention and the drama.

Suddenly I and my friends were invited to every party there was and we were treated as the guests of honor for reasons unknown.

Well unknown to me but the others knew. It was only when Kyungsoo told me that I realized why it was such a big deal. No one had spoken to Chanyeol like that before. No one had dared to question him or his reasons. Everyone just thought he was cool to live such a carefree life with no fucks to give, or too many fucks to give in this case, but no one had dared to call him out on his insecurities ever. Now that I had, people saw him differently. I mean there were still people who wanted to hook up with him and to sleep with him, there were still people who were deeply in love with him, even Kai, but the pedestal people put him on, had shaken.

Kai, as no one would expect, was still hung up on him. I believed the outright rejection hurt his ego a little and he refused to move on until he would actually get Chanyeol to admit that he loved Kai too. It was an ugly mess and I just wished for it to stop.

A few weeks went by and the attention died down. I felt like I could finally breathe in peace. But my peace was pretty short lived.

As I was walking out of the school campus at the end of the day, I saw Yixing coming in. He noticed me and came up.

“Hey Baekhyun” he said, leaning in for a hug. “He guys” he greeting my friends.

“Leaving already?” he asked and I pursed my lips.

“The school’s over so we’re heading over to grab a pizza” Kyungsoo jumped in.

“Make sure you order one with extra mushrooms for Baek” he said with a wink and Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow at him.

I could feel the nervousness in my bones as I watched them speak. Suddenly my eyes wandered off and I saw Chanyeol looking at us. I wondered what he wanted. Over the past few weeks, we had steered clear of each other’s ways but I had occasionally found him staring at me a couple of times. Was he planning to do something to me? Kidnap me? Murder me?

“Yixing” Chanyeol yelled and Yixing turned to look at him, waving his hands.

“Sorry I gotta go” he said. “Baek, call me sometimes, I miss you”

With that, he rushed away.

“What’s with you two?” Kyungsoo asked once he was gone.

“Nothing” I immediately replied. “Nothing at all”

“Can we go?” Kai whined. “I am hungry”, and walked ahead of us. I knew it wasn’t because he was hungry, but because he wanted to be as far away from school as possible. The past few weeks hadn’t been very kind to Kai. Although we were invited to a lot of parties, almost each one of them ended with Kai stumbling upon Chanyeol making out with a random new person and Kai bursting into tears, not in front of him, obviously.

He insisted that he still loved Chanyeol and that one day, Chanyeol will come to see how true his love was, and would accept him. At this point, I was beginning to think that maybe Kai was delusional and I was really worried for him.

“How’s your article going?” Suho asked once we had begun eating pizza.

“Not good” I said. “I haven’t even decided on the topic yet”

“Isn’t the submission in one week?” Kyungsoo asked and I nodded.

“I am really screwed, man”

“Maybe we can help you” Kai offered and I smiled.

“That’s really sweet of you Kai”

“How about we meet after school tomorrow in the library?” Kyungsoo suggested and all of us nodded. I really couldn’t believe I had such friends.

“Oh my god” Kai suddenly exclaimed, looking at his phone.

“What?” I asked.

“Guys, check the school website, right now”

All three of us fished out phones out and typed in the school web address.

In less than a second, we saw what Kai was talking about.

The page had been turned into a gay porn website.

“Who did this?” Suho asked, laughing.

“I am not sure but I bet it was someone from Chanyeol’s group” Kyungsoo joined in on the laughter.

None of us were able to control the laughter at that point. We could only imagine the reaction of the Dean once he found out what had happened.

“Oh there’s a notification” Kai said and all our phoned dinged simultaneously.

A banner popped up with the words, “Releasing next week, exclusive pictures of our school’s most desired slut”

“Huh?” Kai asked. “Our school has a ‘most desired slut’?”

All of us shrugged, wondering who it would be.

“I bet it’s Chanyeol” Kyungsoo said. “He’s the only slut whoring asshole in the school”

I laughed at Kyungsoo’s lack of cussing skills. “Why would he release his own photos if he was the one who hacked the school website?”

“Maybe he didn’t” Suho said. “Maybe there’s someone else who hates him as much as we do”

“I don’t hate him” Kai said in a low voice. “I love him”

“Eat your pizza” Kyungsoo hissed, stuffing the slice into Kai’s mouth, preventing him from speaking.

“Anyway” Suho continued. “It will be interesting to find out”

> ** _Trouvaille (n):_ ** _ Something lovely discovered by chance_

The next day, we gathered in the library for my article. Kyungsoo and Kai were more of science students while Suho, who was somewhat into arts, was more into visual arts classes than literature. All we did that day was waste time and talk about who the ‘school slut’ could be.

After discussing this for 3 hours, we reached to various conclusions.

  1. The food in the cafeteria sucked
  2. Suho can’t sleep in someone else’s bed
  3. Kai was still in love with Chanyeol
  4. If there was a zombie apocalypse and Kyungsoo could save just one person among us, he’d save only himself
  5. That there probably were ghosts in the library that came out after midnight (Kyungsoo borderline convinced us to stay till after midnight, just to check)
  6. Chanyeol was an asshole
  7. I was doomed to fail in writing my article

None of the conclusions were about the topic we had relentlessly discussed. It was close to 5 and I was beginning to feel tired, but I did not have much time to lose.

All four of us decided to head to our respective homes when I changed my mind at the last minute. If I didn’t start writing now, I would never finish it. And a huge chunk of my credit score was dependent on this column.

When everyone was gone, I made myself comfortable in the silence of the library. A lot had changed in the past two months. From sitting here because I had no friends and no place to go to one evening, I had come to having three friends and being moderately popular among all high school students. I wasn’t entirely happy about the second one but having friends definitely made it bearable.

I tapped the screen of my laptop open and the same, familiar, blank screen of word file opened in front of me.

“Something personal?” I whispered to myself. What could I write about that every student would relate to but would also be close to me? I wasn’t like most students. I didn’t think like them. Parties and social relevance was important to most of them while I just wanted to…

What did I want?

Shaking my head in frustration, I decided to check out the Arts section of the library, hoping to find some inspiration. I walked over to the literature section and grazed my eyes through the poetry section.

Edgar Ellen Poe? No. Too dark.

Shakespeare? That was too dramatic, even if I loved him to bits.

Wordsworth? It was always a neutral zone with him, neither too dark and neither too light.

I went over to the contemporary poets section and found a collection of poems that were written from the onset of 20th century. I picked it up and shuffled through a couple of pages. Most of the poems were either on love, or heartbreak but these topics had already been written about. What could I offer that would be something new?

I was still glancing over the pages when a voice startled me.

“Hi”

I turned around, only to find the 3rd year senior, Chanyeol, standing right in front of me.

I did not reply because I did not want to say anything to him. I did not even want him in the same space where I was standing but the library was a public place and I couldn’t really do anything about it.

I went back to reading the book of poems, ignoring his existence.

“The least you can do is say hi, you know, considering how you butchered me in cafeteria a few weeks ago?”

I closed the book and looked at him. “What is your name again? Oh Cheongmul, right? You deserved it Park Cheongmul. Don’t come here looking for sympathy”

Chanyeol suddenly smiled. Why was he smiling? Shouldn’t he be mad at me? I had just destroyed his name. Or was it an ‘I-am-soon-going-to-avenge-the-insult’ smile?

“I am not looking for sympathy. I am here to read. I just happened to stumble upon you”

“Really?” I asked. “So you don’t have your friends hiding somewhere to dump trash on me or something?”

Chanyeol scrunched his eyebrows and cocked his head at me. “Is that how little you think of me?”

I stared at the face Kai had fallen in love with and right now, in the faint glow of the library, I was beginning to see why. Chanyeol was a charmer. He had this million dollar smile that highlighted the tiny dent on his cheeks that people were crazy about. He was slick with words and could woo you immediately. But I wasn’t going to fall for his tricks.

“You’re wrong Cheongmul” I said, firmly. “I don’t think of you at all”

What was wrong with this guy? Why did he keep smiling at everything I said?

“What are you working on?” he asked, suddenly changing the topic and I was caught off guard.

I looked at the book of poems in my hand. “A column for term paper” I replied in a low voice.

“You’re going to write about poems?” he asked.

I wondered why he was so interested.

“None of your business Cheongmul” I said and walked past him to go back to where I was sitting.

I wasn’t even surprised when Chanyeol followed me and took the seat to my opposite.

“You’re working alone?” he asked.

I raised my eyes from my laptop and gave him a ‘Duh-can’t-you-see’ look which made him smile again.

What was with this guy? Why couldn’t he just stop smiling?

I picked up the book of poems from the table and tried to concentrate on it. I wasn’t sure how long this idiot was planning on staying here.

A few poems caught my attention and I immediately opened my notebook to make a few notes. I highlighted the important keywords I came across, hoping to form a story line with them.

I didn’t realize how engrossed I had been in my work but when I was finally done, I noticed an hour had passed.

I took my eyes off the book for the first time in one hour and my heart almost jumped when I saw Chanyeol still sitting in the chair to my opposite.

“You’re still here?” I asked, unable to understand what he was still doing here. Chanyeol sat with his face resting on his palm, his eyes glued to me.

He did not answer my question, instead, continued to smile at me. I didn’t have the patience to wait for him to answer so I began packing my bags.

“Go out on a date with me!” Chanyeol said. It was not a question, it was not a suggestion. It was an assertion.

And it took me by absolute surprise. I blinked at him, trying to find words that would be appropriate. What made him think I would go on a date with him? Hadn’t I made it clear that I hated his entire existence?

“Fuck off” I said, sliding the bag to my back and ready to walk away.

As I turned around, I felt a weight pull me back.

Chanyeol’s hand was tightly wrapped around my wrist. I stared at him in frustration.

“Let go of me Cheongmul”

He immediately let my hand go.

“Damn, you’re so beautiful when you’re angry” was all he said before winking at me and walking away.

I stood there, frozen, with my brain melted and my knees week. I felt my cheeks burning like someone had set them on fire. I stared after Chanyeol and the only thing I could think was that I needed to stay as far away from this guy as possible, or I would be in a lot of trouble.

> ** _Mamihlapinatapai (n):_ ** _ The look shared between two people, experiencing a private moment, in an expressive and meaningful silence, when each knows the other understands what is being expressed_

Two days before the submission, I had skipped classes and decided to stay in the library all day. Out of the 1000 something words I had to write, I had only written less than 200 and I knew I was screwed. On top of that, Chanyeol had begun to occupy every waking thought of mine for some reason.

Today was also Kai’s birthday so I had promised him I would get the article done and be there for the party at 7. With relentless efforts and brainstorming, I had just managed to sit my ass down and write just over 800 words. My brain wasn’t functioning as I hadn’t slept a wink the entire week. The stress of the submission had caught up to me and I was finding it impossible to sleep at night.

I glanced at the watch and it was nearly about 4 pm. The school day was over and since Kai had invited everyone to the party, the school was relatively empty by now.

Knowing that I wouldn’t be able to function without sleep, I decided to close my eyes for just a few minutes. Perhaps a powernap would make my brain perform like it was supposed to. Deciding to do just that, I closed my eyes with my head resting over my bag on the table and I quickly dozed off.

I woke up when I heard my phone vibrate.

“Hello?” I said, picking up the call.

“Where are you Baekhyun?” Kyungsoo’s voice pierced. “Kai is really mad at you right now. He thinks you won’t show up”

“What time is it?”

“8.30”

“Shit” I exclaimed. “I’ll be right there”

I was glad Kai’s house was not far from the school campus. If I jogged, I would be there in less than 10 minutes.

Packing my bags, I rushed out of the library and ran my way to Kai’s house.

When I reached, everyone was either dancing or making out, which was very weird.

I quickly found Kyungsoo. “Where is Kai?” I asked.

He pointed towards the corner of the room where Kai stood with a bottle of beer in his hand and his eyes fixated on something.

“And Suho?” I asked.

“He has a thing with his parents. He came but left early”

“I’ll be right back” I replied and I rushed over to where Kai was.

“Happy Birthday Kai” I said with a hug.

He immediately broke into smile and hugged me back. “You cameeee” he said. It was obvious he was more than drunk.

“I did” I replied with a slight laugh.

Kai took my face in his hands and kissed my cheeks. “I love you so much for thanking”

“Huh?”

“I come you so much for loving”

“Kai you’ve had enough to drink” I said, pulling the bottle from his hand but he held on to it firmly.

“I love you so much for coming” he finally said something that made sense to me.

“I love you so much for inviting me” I replied. Apparently ‘love you’ was the new ‘thank you’.

“What are you doing here, alone?” I asked.

His eyes travelled from me to someone behind me. For a second, my heart stopped. I knew he was looking at Chanyeol, but I did not understand why I was so afraid to turn around. Was he making out with someone again? Even if he was, why was it bothering me so much?

Knowing that the only way to confirm my suspicion was to see for myself, I turned around. Chanyeol stood by the fireplace, his elbow resting on the mantle while he talked to Sehun as both of them sipped beers.

Our eyes met and for a moment, I felt like the world has stopped spinning. I felt like everything had been halted and only Chanyeol and I existed in the room.

I felt like his eyes were saying something. I saw him draw his lips in a thin line like he was telling me ‘See I am at my best behavior today.’

I saw him wiggle his eyebrows, as if asking me ‘Now will you go out on a date with me?’

In response, I gave him my straight face and I saw him suddenly sulk, like he understood I had rejected him again.

We had an entire conversation, without even speaking a single word. Did something like this actually happen to people or was I thinking too much? Shaking my head, I turned towards Kai. 

“Come on” I said, pulling him by his arm. “Let’s get you sobered up a bit”

Sober Kai was a little delusional, but drunk Kai was whiney as well as delusional.

As I and Kyungsoo took Kai to his room, all we heard was about how much Kai loved Chanyeol and how much Chanyeol hated him. He talked about marrying Chanyeol and having kids with him and we had to remind him that he was not a girl, to which he replied that science had advanced a lot, whatever that even meant.

After struggling to keep him grounded for over an hour, we finally got him to sleep. By the end of it, all two of us were so tired that we all crashed right there, on Kai’s bed.

I had no clue what happened to the party but when I woke up the next morning, the house was as clean as new. As I walked into the kitchen, Kyungsoo came up behind me.

“Did you clean the house?” I asked.

Kyungsoo shook his head and poured us two glasses of water. “I dozed off, man” he said, handing me a glass.

I looked at the spotless house with everything right where it was supposed to be and I wondered who had done the deed of cleaning up the mess after the party was over.

We cleaned ourselves up and borrowed clothes from Kai before heading to school, deciding to eat something at the cafeteria for breakfast.

Since we had invaded Kai’s wardrobe, he had insisted on dressing me and Kyungsoo up. The theme, as he said, was black for today.

So there we were, three high school teenagers, walking into the cafeteria with skin tight black jeans and fitting black t-shirts. All it did was made me wonder why Kai had so many identical pairs of clothing in his wardrobe.

We quietly took out usual seats while Kai said he would treat us all to breakfast. Just then Suho joined us and apologized for leaving the party early.

He was saying something about how his parents want him to get more involved in family business when my phone buzzed.

I pulled it out of my pocket and unlocked the screen.

There was one text message from a number I didn’t recognize. 

> **Unknown:** ‘You look so hot in black’

I started up from the phone screen and turned my eyes around the cafeteria to find out who had texted me. It had to be someone from here. But the problem was, almost everyone was on their phone.

My phone buzzed again.

> **Unknown: ‘**Are you looking for me?’

I decided to reply.

‘Who are y…’ was what I had typed when another message flashed.

> **Unknown:** ‘Why don’t you look inside your heart, you’ll find me there’

I closed my eyes at the cheesiness of the line. It practically gave me a headache and I massaged my forehead with my hands.

Another buzz.

> **Unknown:** ‘Haha. I am sorry I am not usually this cheesy but you looked so damn hot in that black outfit I had to try it’

I was beginning to get frustrated now. I looked up from the screen again and grazed my eyes across the cafeteria to find out any hint of who was sending me texts.

That’s when I saw him, looking straight at me, with that gorgeous smile on his face.

Chanyeol held his phone up, in indication of him being the text sender. How did he even get my number?

‘What the fuck do you want Cheongmul?’ I typed and sent.

I quickly saved his number under the name ‘Cheongmul’

> **Cheongmul:** ‘You shouldn’t be so rude to someone who practically stayed over to clean your friend’s house’

I stared at the message for a long time. It was Chanyeol who had done that? Why?

I did not know what I was doing but before I could, I had already typed and sent a ‘Thanks’.

I saw Chanyeol’s face light up when he read that message and I had to control myself from smiling at him.

I straightened my face and my emotions before texting back.

> **Me: **‘Just tell me what you want Cheongmul.’
> 
> **Cheongmul:** ‘Damn. My knees go weak when you call my name out’

I realized I was blushing like crazy. I wasn’t even calling him by his real name and he was already being so cheesy.

> **Me:** ‘I am blocking your number’
> 
> **Cheongmul:** ‘No. Wait’
> 
> **Me:** ‘What now?’
> 
> **Cheongmul:** ‘Go on a date with me’

Then came a series of question marks.

It was not an assertion this time. He was asking me out.

‘No’ I replied back and turned my phone silent before keeping it in my bag.

I got back to whatever Kai, Suho and Kyungsoo were talking about when I noticed all three of them staring at me.

“What?” I asked.

“Umm…” Kai began. “Why is Chanyeol staring at you?” he asked and I felt my heart drop to the floor.

“Huh?” I asked, unable to find words. I didn’t want to lie to Kai.

He pointed his finger to the table Chanyeol sat on and I turned to see that he was, indeed staring at me. But he wasn’t stupid enough to do anything so when my eyes met his, he quickly got up and left, leaving me to wonder if he was mad because of my text.

“I don’t know why he was staring at me” I said, a little more defensive than I intended to be.

“Is there something going on between the two of you?” Kai asked and I raised my eyebrows at him in shock.

“What?” I asked. “There is nothing going on between me and that scum. And there never will” I said.

My words assured Kai. “He’s not a scum though. He is genuinely a very nice person”

“Kai” I said. “You know you deserve better right? So much better than that asshole”

Kai shook his head. “It’s only him that I want and I know he’s a good person”

“Kai you need to stop painting him in good picture” I said sharply. “He is nothing but a fuckboy.”

I did not know why I was getting angry.

Kai shook his head. “You just don’t know about him yet”

“What don’t I know then, huh? Tell me”

My voice seemed to be increasing with every sentence I spoke.

Kai sighed. “His father left when he was young. His mother remarried and initially his step father loved him a lot, but not too long after that, his mother died in a car crash. His step father just packed his bags and shifted to some other country, leaving Chanyeol here, all by himself, saying he can’t accept him as his son anymore”

As I heard everything Kai said, all I could think about was what horrible things I had said to Chanyeol that day about his parents.

“Chanyeol literally has no one in life. That’s why on weekends, he goes and volunteers at orphanages and old age homes”

I closed my eyes as the horror of my words began to surface before me.

My heart was telling me to go and apologize but my brain told me that he didn’t need an apology out of sympathy. If anything, it would hurt him more.

It was almost time for our classes so I decided to talk to Chanyeol some other time.

We were about to leave when an announcement pierced the air.

“Byun Baekhyun” the voice making the announcement said. “Please report to the Dean’s office”

I stared at each of my friends in confusion as they all looked at me.

“Why do they want you to report to the Dean’s office?” Kyungsoo asked.

Then Suho spoke. “Did you do something?”

I shook my head. “I don’t think so”

“Let’s go” Kai said.

“Only I’ve been asked to report”

“Like we’re leaving you alone. If anything goes south, we’ll testify”

I felt like a criminal being dragged to court suddenly.

When I reached the Dean’s office, I found my literature professor standing outside the door.

“Shit” I said. “My submission’s due tomorrow and I haven’t written shit”

My friends looked at me worriedly.

“Mr. Buyn” the professor said. “After you”

I went in, asking my friends to wait outside and my literature professor followed after me.

15 minutes later, I walked out of the office, with a wave of shock written all over my face.

“What happened?”

“Are you suspended?”

“Do you need us to go in and talk to them?”

I shook my head at all the questions thrown at me.

“They… they want to publish my article in the School yearbook around Christmas”

Silence.

“They what?” Kai asked after a few moments.

Kyungsoo held my hand. “Baek I thought you hadn’t submitted the paper yet”

“I… I was almost done. Just a few more words and final editing was all that was left and I thought I’d do it today but my article was submitted at 7.30 last night”

“When you were supposed to be at Kai’s party?”

I nodded. “But I remember I was sleeping in the library then”

“Then who finished and submitted it?” Kyungsoo asked.

My mind was running at a million thoughts per second.

Kai suddenly looked at his watch and cussed. “Shit we’re late for class”

All of them began rushing but I was unable to comprehend what to do.

Kyungsoo noticed me. “Go ahead, I’ll be right back” he said and Kai and Suho rushed away.

“What’s wrong?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Kyungsoo” I began, “What time did Sehun and his group reach the party last night?”

He thought for a second. “They were all on time”

“And Chanyeol?”

“Ah” he said. “He came late, around 8ish I believe”

“Are you sure?”

Kyungsoo nodded. “Yeah I remember Kai was complaining continuously about him being late until he showed up around 8”

Kyungsoo must have noticed I was in deep thought. “Why Baek, did something happen?”

“I think… I think it was Chanyeol who submitted my essay”

“What?” Kyungsoo asked in surprise. “How is that even possible? You guys don't even know each other.”

I pursed my lips and shook my head. “The day you guys helped me with the assignment, we had a little chat in the library” I said. “It was him who cleaned Kai’s house last night and I am pretty sure it was him who finished my article”

Kyungsoo was silent for a minute. “Why would you think it was him though?”

I wasn’t sure if I should tell Kyungsoo but I decided to do it anyways. “Because he keeps asking me on a date so maybe he’s doing this to get me to like him”

At this, Kyungsoo didn’t say anything for a while.

“Park Chanyeol, asking someone out on a date. Well that’s a first”

“What do you mean?”

“Baek, you already know his reputation. He’s a fuckboy. And if he asked you out on a date, trust me, it had never happened in the history of his existence”

“I don’t care” I said, shaking my head. “Who plays such dirty games to convince someone to go on a date with them? If he thinks completing my assignment would get him any brownie points, he’s wrong ”

Kyungsoo was silent for a moment. “Baek, don’t you think he would have told you that he submitted your paper if he wanted to earn brownie points?”

Kyungsoo was right. Chanyeol hadn’t said a word. Not even when he texted me earlier.

“Doesn’t matter. I still won’t go on a date with him. Soon enough he’ll stop”

“What if he doesn’t stop?”

“Then I’ll wait for him to graduate. He only has a few months left anyway”

Kyungsoo laughed. “Don’t be silly Baek. I have noticed the way he looks at you”

“What?” I asked, panicking a little. “He doesn’t look at me”

“Yes he does, a lot” Kyungsoo said. “Maybe others don’t notice, but I do”

“He’s just obsessed because I stood up to him, that’s all” I said, being defensive.

“Well” Kyungsoo began. “Going on a date with him is your decision. I can only talk about what I saw”

“It’s not just that Soo”

“Are you worried about Kai?”

I couldn’t believe how understanding and mature Kyungsoo was. I didn’t even have to speak for him to understand me.

“I am, yeah”

“Don’t be. He is stronger than you think”

With that, he turned away and ran towards his class.

> ** _Athazagoraphobia (n):_ ** _ the fear of forgetting, being forgotten or ignored, or being replaced_

On Thursday, I saw Yixing in the campus again. This time I managed to avoid him completely and he went straight to meet Chanyeol. I let out a breath of relief. As long as I could avoid him, my past wouldn’t surface.

But it was just the next day when my world came crashing down.

I was in the middle of my class when my phone buzzed. I looked around and noticed that everyone else’s phone had buzzed at the same time too.

There was one message.

“Time to reveal the school slut. Click on the link below”

I was not interested in this kind of stupidity so I ignored the message and put my phone back in my pocket, while the rest of the class broke out in chatter.

The gossip lasted for the entire class and once the class ended for lunch, I quickly rushed out to meet my friends in the cafeteria.

Kai and Kyungsoo were already chatting while Suho was absent.

“Just look at it once, maybe you know who it is” Kai said, shoving his phone to Kyungsoo.

“I don’t want to” Kyungsoo said. “Take that phone away from me”

Kai scowled and turned towards me. “Did you see the photo?”

I shook my head. “I am not interested in labeling anyone a slut”

“But that’s the mystery” Kai said. “We don’t know who it is. There are two guys, one is blowing the other. The guy who’s standing, his face isn’t visible but the one who is blowing him, his face is blurred”

“Blurred?” I asked and Kai nodded.

“Here” he said, handing me the phone. Even though I didn’t want to see it, my eyes involuntarily fell on the photo and suddenly my heart stopped.

I knew that photo. The face was blurred and nothing concrete was visible but I knew that photo, because I was in it. The guy who’s face had been blurred, was me.

My senses went numb and my mind stopped working. The birthmark on the right arm was clearly visible. Anyone who had seen my birthmark in the upper right arm, would easily know it was me. 

I saw Kyungsoo reach out for the phone and stare at it for a second before turning the screen off.

“Kai, did you complete your physics homework?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Fuck” Kai said. “Our next class is physics?”

Kyungsoo nodded.

“Shit. I better get to class and finish it. I can’t really afford to slack anymore”

With that, Kai got up and left.

I stared at Kyungsoo, thanking him silently. I did not know how, but he knew the photo had disturbed me.

A moment of silence passed between us.

“It’s me” I said finally, gathering the courage to confess. “I’m in the photo”

“I know” Kyungsoo said.

I looked at him surprisingly. “How?”

“The birthmark. I recognized it from when we were at Kai’s place and he had us change into his clothes”

I nodded. “I will understand if you guys do not want to be associated with me”

“What are you talking about?” Kyungsoo asked.

“This photo” I began. “It was leaked in my last school and my friends branded me a slut. It was bad so I had to transfer”

Kyungsoo didn’t say anything.

“The other guy in the photo, he was my friend’s boyfriend. It was a drunken mistake and I was out of my senses most of the night”

I took a pause, collecting my composure and making my voice firm.

“She thought I turned her boyfriend gay. She was popular and soon turned everyone against me. I deserved it though. I shouldn’t have done what I did. So I will understand if you guys never speak to me again”

“I am ashamed” Kyungsoo finally said and I felt my heart sink.

“I know, I am sorry for everything”

“I am ashamed that you think I or Kai or Suho will abandon you because of one small mistake”

I blinked at him in surprise. Was I hearing right?

“I am ashamed that you think we are that kind of people who will just quit being your friends over something as silly as this. And I am ashamed that perhaps it was us who made you feel that way”

“No Kyungsoo” I said. I was beginning to tear up. “You are not like that. I am sorry. I just have been through so much shit that I have stopped believing in the good within people”

“But have we ever made you feel like you couldn’t trust us Baek?”

I shook my head, tears running through my face. “I am sorry”

“If you don’t mind me asking” Kyungsoo said, “who is the other guy in the photo?”

I looked at Kyungsoo worriedly. I had already told him everything, there was no point in keeping this from him anymore.

“It’s Yixing”

“The senior we met at Chanyeol’s party?”

I nodded. And suddenly, I started connecting everything.

The website was hacked by Chanyeol and his friends last week when they had made the announcement of revealing the school slut. Yixing had been hanging out with them a lot. In fact, I had seen him just yesterday at the campus and today, my photos were all over the school website.

Just the thought made me sick to my stomach. I felt like I would throw up.

Suddenly Kyungsoo stood up. “Go to class and don’t say anything to anyone” he said.

“Where are you going?”

“I’ll explain later”

I did not know what to do. I felt scared and anxious. Maybe going home would be the best option. But I had to trust Kyungsoo. Picking my bag up, I retreated to class.

The only relief was that no one was looking at me. No one knew the guy from the photo was me.

Classes went on as usual but my mind was racing. I didn’t pay attention to anyone or anything. The second class after lunch began. I couldn’t focus and I was getting more worried as time passed. Just as I was about to stand up and ask the professor if I could be excused, everyone’s phone buzzed again.

I froze.

Not having the courage or the will to take my phone out, I stared at each and every one of the students and one by one, their eyes turned towards me.

Their eyes, the look in their eyes told me that they knew. They knew it was me.

I wanted to scream and hide. I wanted to run away. But my feet did not comply with me.

This was a nightmare. This was exactly what I had been desperate to avoid.

And now, everyone knew.

I was stuck to my seat. The professor asked for the class to be quiet but I could still hear the whispers and the gossip. Every now and then, a pair of eyes would turn towards me, with accusation in their eyes and disgust on their faces.

I did not know how much time has passed because every second felt like a year. Every minute felt like a decade.

I did not have it in me to go through this again. I had lived through hell once and it was enough. I wasn’t sure if my mind and body could take it once more.

I gathered every ounce of courage within me to leave. I didn’t care about asking for permission, I didn’t care about what they would say behind my back. I just needed to be as far away from this place as possible.

Just as I was about to get up, the class was disrupted again.

I raised my head to see a bruised and beaten Chanyeol walking through the door.

He did not spare a glance at the professor who was yelling at him. He did not look at the students who were staring at him just like I was.

His eyes were fixed on me.

Walking up to the back of the class where I was sitting, Chanyeol stood there for a minute, our eyes locked. Without any warning, he grabbed me by my hand and dragged me with him.

As I was being pulled away by him, I saw Sehun enter the class.

“I’ll get your stuff” was all he said.

Before I knew what was happening, I had already been dragged through the school and was now inside Chanyeol’s car.

We just sat there in silence.

Chanyeol hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. So tight that his knuckles turned white. I looked at him but his eyes were unfocused.

Just then, Sehun and Kyungsoo walked up to us. Sehun opened the back door before keeping my bag and books in the back seat.

“There’s all your stuff” he said before closing it.

Kyungsoo looked at me and then at Chanyeol. My eyes momentarily fell on Kyungsoo’s knuckles and they were bruised.

Was he the one who had hit Chanyeol?

“I’ll take him with me” was all Chanyeol said.

Kyungsoo did not respond and before I could ask any of them what was going on, Chanyeol drove us off.

> ** _Appentence (n):_ ** _ An eager desire; an instinctive inclination; an attraction or natural bond _

In no time, we reached Chanyeol’s house. I knew the place because he had invited us to a party here. My brain felt like it had died. I couldn’t think anything. What was Chanyeol doing? Did he think that bring me to his house would solve this? That I would forgive him for what he had done? For leaking my photos on the school website and branding me as the school slut?

“I am not going in” I said, from inside the car.

Chanyeol stepped out and walked over to my side before opening the door and pulling me out. Just like he had dragged me from the class, he dragged to the front door.

“Stop it” I said, trying to free myself from him but nothing got through to him. “Let me go”

I violently twisted my hand, for him to loosen his grip but the more I moved, the firmer his grip turned.

Raising my hand, I tried to shake it back and forth for him to let me go but unknowingly, I hit him on his face.

The lip that had formed a clot, busted open again and I saw thick blood starting to ooze out.

“Oh god” I exclaimed. “I am sorry, I didn’t meant to hurt you”

Chanyeol did not say anything. He opened the front door and pulled me inside, with drops of blood gushing all over his t-shirt and floor.

Once we were in, he pulled me over to where the living room was and made me sit on the couch.

“Sit” he said. “I’ll change and get you something to eat”

“Let me go” I said. This was not what I wanted. I did not want to stay near a person who had turned me into a slut for the entire school.

“Sit” was all he said before walking away.

After Chanyeol left, I tried to look for my phone but it was not with me. I figured I must have dropped it in Chanyeol’s car.

I walked to the door, to go and get my phone but the door was locked.

I stared at the number pad, wondering who needed a pass key to open the door from the inside?

Sighing that there was no escape, I retreated back to the couch. The only thing to do was to wait for Chanyeol.

I was tired and exhausted and the stress made me weak. My eyelids got heavier and before I knew it, I dozed off to sleep.

When I woke up, I was a little disoriented. I absorbed my surroundings and realized I was in Chanyeol’s house and that it was already dark outside. I checked my watch and noted that it was already past 8.

“Shit” I let out. “I need to go home.”

I looked around and found my bag and my phone on the couch beside me.

“I already texted your brother that you will be sleeping at my place tonight” Chanyeol’s voice reached me. 

Hearing Chanyeol say that, agitated me. I did not have any reason to put up with him after what he had done.

“Who gave you the right to decide that for me?” I snapped. He was in the kitchen, cooking perhaps. I got up and walked over to where he was. I noticed how badly he had tended to his wounds, or did someone else do it for him? His lip was still bleeding slightly.

I shook my head. I did not care about his face. “Who gave you the right to keep me here? Against my will?”

Chanyeol did not reply and that made me madder.

“You’re nothing but a condescending piece of shit.” I continued in anger. “This is how you decided to get back at me? By leaking my photos for the whole school to see? Because I called you on your bullshit in front of everyone? Does that give you the right to make me the school slut?”

I noticed Chanyeol’s hand tighten around the pan he was holding. But he still chose not to reply.

“Do you think you dragging me here and keeping me here will make me forget what you did? Do you think this will stop everyone at school from branding me the official slut now?”

“Stop” Chanyeol said suddenly and my heart stopped for a second. “Stop saying that word”

“Why?” I retorted. “You have already made me one in front of the entire school. I might as well just admit that I am a slut”

“I said stop saying that word” Chanyeol snapped in a loud voice.

“You know what, all this time, I felt sorry for myself. I felt that I didn’t deserve to have friends after what I had done. I felt that I didn’t deserve a second chance because of this mistake. But then I met Kai and Kyungsoo and Suho and I started realizing that maybe something better was in store for me. But you and your ego fucked that up. You brought my past back to me, to rub it on my face and because of what? Because I was protecting my friend against you? Was that really such a bad thing to do that you had to release my photos for the whole world to see?”

I heard Chanyeol breathe out loud. It seemed like he was trying to hold back what he wanted to say.

“And now, I don’t feel sorry for myself anymore. Maybe I deserved this too, for betraying my friends and hiding the truth from them. But I do feel sorry for you. I feel sorry that this is who you are. That you had to resort to this to make my life a joke for your own validation and amusement.”

“If you have any ounce of regret left in you, you will let me go”

I waited for Chanyeol to respond, to say something, anything. Even for him to apologize but nothing came.

After a while, he loosed his grip on the pan. “The passcode is 1127” he said.

I did not wait for him to change his mind. I rushed over to the couch and picked up my bag and my phone and rushed out of his house, as fast as I could, without even sparing a glance at him.

I reached home a little after 8.30.

“I thought you weren’t coming home” I heard my brother say as I entered.

“I changed my mind” I replied and went into my room, locking it behind me.

I took my phone out and saw there were several missed calls.

5 from Kai.

3 for Suho.

And 27 from Kyungsoo.

I decided to text Kai and Suho that I was home and that I was fine. After I was done, I called Kyungsoo.

“Where are you?” Kyungsoo shrieked into the phone.

“I just came home” I replied.

“You… you’re not with Chanyeol?”

“Why will I be with that asshole? He was the one who did this Kyungsoo. He was the one who leaked my photos.”

“Baek” Kyungsoo said, his voice soft yet serious. “It wasn’t Chanyeol who did this”

“What?” I yelled. “No Kyungsoo, it’s him. Him and Yixing are friends”

“That’s what I thought too” Kyungsoo said. “At lunch, I believed it was Chanyeol too so I went to find him and hand him a piece of his own ass. When I found him, I punched the fuck out of his face but he never hit me back. He said that there must have been a misunderstanding and to talk it out”

“Kyungsoo, what are you trying to say?” I asked, engulfed in shock.

“I told Chanyeol everything and he said he would find out who did this. Baek, he was angry, like really angry. He ran across the school like a mad man for over an hour before we figured out who it was.”

“Who was it?”

“Some guy called Jimmy from first year”

“I don’t even know who that is”

“He’s from the same branch as Chanyeol. None of us knew who he was but apparently he had hung out with Chanyeol a couple of times and they slept together once”

“But how are you sure it was him?”

“Once your unblurred photos were posted, Chanyeol lost it. He asked a friend of his to trace the source and we found out that it was from a laptop that belonged to Jimmy. Of course, Chanyeol knew who he was so when he found the guy, he beat the shit out of him.”

“So the bruises on his face?” I asked.

“They’re from Jimmy, not me”

“But why would that guy do such a thing? What does he have against me?”

“Jimmy is in love with Chanyeol, Baek. When he saw you insult him in front of the whole school, he thought he would get Chanyeol’s approval if he crushed you in front of the whole school.”

“But how did he get the photos?”

“He saw you talking to Yixing at Chanyeol's party and when he asked Yixing later, he found out which school you were from”

“So it was Yixing who leaked my photos?”

“No Baek, Yixing did not even have the knowledge of the existence of these photos. Jimmy knows his ex apparently. Your ex best friend was the one who gave him the photos”

None of this was making sense anymore. And then I recalled everything I had said to Chanyeol before leaving his house.

“Kyungsoo” I said, tears forming in my eyes. “I have to go”

I hung up before he could ask anything and dropping my phone and my bag, I rushed out.

“Where are you going?” My brother yelled after me but I was off before I could reply.

I ran like I had never run before. I ran like my life depended on it.

Panting and sweaty, I reached Chanyeol’s house in around 15 minutes.

As I stood in front of the door, I breathed in heavily.

What if he didn’t want to see my after what I had said to him? What if he hated me for the things I had said?

I knew the only way to find out was to see him first.

With a hand on my heart and the other on the door, I knocked.

In less than a few seconds, Chanyeol opened the door.

“Bae… Baekhyun” he said, confused that I was standing at his door. “Did something happen? Are you hurt?”

“I am sorry” I muttered. “I am sorry for everything I said.”

Chanyeol stared at me and his eyes turned soft. It spoke to me in a language of its own. Chanyeol looked like he would pull me into a hug any moment but he did not.

“Come on in” Chanyeol offered and this time, I went in voluntarily.

As I walked in, I noticed that Chanyeol had left the food uncooked on the counter.

Was he cooking for just me?

We walked over to the living room and I sat down with my hands on top of my knees. I did not understand why I felt nervous.

He left me there for a moment and came back with a glass of water.

It was only then that I realized that I was still panting a little.

He sat down next to me. “Are you sure you’re not hurt?” he asked.

I nodded. “I am not”

“Where is your bag? You left with it, didn’t you?”

“It’s at home”

“You went home… and you came back?”

“I had to apologize” I said.

Chanyeol smiled and that’s when I knew that he wasn’t angry anymore. “You shouldn’t be the one apologizing, Baekhyun”

I stared at him in wonder. My eyes ran all over his face. There was a small cut on his left eyebrow. His right eye was bruised. The bridge of the nose had a small cut and his lower lip was busted on the left side. Just like I had seen it last time, it was still oozing blood.

“Who patched you up?” I asked, boring my eyes into each wound.

“I did it myself” he said like it was something to be proud of.

“Well you did a very poor job. Where is the first aid kit?”

“I’m fine Baekhyun” Chanyeol said.

“Do you want me to leave again?” I asked, threateningly.

“Second door on the right, cabinet under the sink” he immediately said, raising his hand and pointing to the first floor.

I got up and immediately left before he could see the smile I was bursting into.

Soon enough, I found the first aid kit and headed back down.

Chanyeol was sitting where I had left him

I positioned myself in front of him and opened the box. Talking the cotton swab and the antibacterial liquid out, I proceeded to clean his wounds first.

All the cuts were locked with dried blood and Chanyeol had done nothing to clean them.

“You can’t leave the cuts unattended” I said as I cleaned the one on his eyebrows.

“If they get infected, you’ll be in bigger trouble”

I was focused on his nose now but I could tell that Chanyeol was staring straight at me and he had his usual mischievous smile on.

“It’s not a big deal” he whispered softly.

I had moved on to his lip which took more time than other cuts.

“How is it not a big deal?” I asked. “These wounds can scar”

Chanyeol smiled again and the lip I had just cleaned, showed traces of blood once more.

“Shh” I hissed. “Don’t move. And stop smiling”

At this, he gave out an even bigger smile and then winced in pain as his lip began bleeding again.

“I think it will need stitches” I said.

“It will heal Baekhyun, you need to stop being so worried”

Chanyeol’s face was very close to my own. So close that I could feel his warm breath on my face when he spoke.

I shook my head, trying to rid myself of his thoughts but the movement made my bangs fall on my eyes. I struggled to remove them but both my hands were dipped in antibacterial liquid.

Chanyeol saw my struggle and immediately brought his hand up. The sudden movement made my heart jump. Stroking my hair lightly, he parted the bangs so that I could see undisturbed.

I pressed the swab lightly on the cut on his lower lip and Chanyeol hissed in pain again.

I pursed my lips, in an attempt to not smile but it was too evident.

Once I was done cleaning, I picked the ointment up and squeezed a good amount on my finger before tending to Chanyeol.

This time too, he squealed in pain each time the ointment touched his cuts.

“If you’re so scared of pain, why did you get beat up?” I asked as I was done with his nose.

“You should see the other guy” Chanyeol said. “If Kyungsoo hadn’t stopped me, he would have been dead”

My hands suddenly dropped and I looked at Chanyeol. I did not even realize that I was being concerned. It was only when Chanyeol cupped my face in his hand, did I realize that I had been scared, _for_ him.

“Don’t worry, nothing like that happened” he said.

I nodded and he withdrew his hand and for some reason, I wanted it back on my face.

I picked up the tube of ointment again and began tending to his lip now.

“What time did you leave the library after you submitted my article?”

“Your what?”

“My article for the term” I said.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about Baekhyun”

I was a little confused. “Wasn’t it you who finished the article when I was asleep in the library? On Kai’s birthday?”

“I wasn’t even at school that day”

“You weren’t?”

Chanyeol shook his head.

“But you reached the party late” I said.

“Yeah because I had baseball practice”

“Oh” I said, a little disappointed. I was sure it was Chanyeol but turned out, it was someone else. But who? Maybe it was Suho and he just didn’t want to admit it because he thought I’d get mad. He was the only student who had some of my subjects common. Both Kyungsoo and Kai were from science and so was Chanyeol. I shook my head, thinking how stupid I’d been to think it was Chanyeol. It didn’t matter anyway. I turned my attention to him.

“Cheongmul” I teased and I saw him suddenly close his eyes, in frustration of being called by the wrong name again. I couldn’t help but smile.

“Hmm?” he asked, eyes still shut. Boy did he have patience for me.

“I am hungry” I said.

At his, he popped his eyes open and I could see the sparkle in them.

“I’ll prepare something” he said, rushing off immediately.

> ** _Paroxysm (n):_ ** _ Sudden outburst of emotion_

“Why am I sleeping on your bed?” I asked as Chanyeol drew out two comforters from the cupboard. “You have other rooms, don’t you?”

Dinner was over and who knew Chanyeol was such a great cook. After food and shower, I had changed into a pair of clothes that belonged to Chanyeol and were at least three sizes bigger for me.

“There’s… umm… some construction work going on” he said.

“In all of them?”

Chanyeol pursed his lips. “Um hm”

“At once?”

“Ye... yes?” he said.

“Are you asking me?”

Chanyeol seemed lost. I laughed at how much Chanyeol was struggling at lying.

“Fine” I said. “I’ll sleep here but you better separate the bed with pillows so you don’t cross over to my side”

“Baekhyun, all sides are my sides” Chanyeol said.

“I am sleeping on the left so for tonight, left side is my side and you better stay on the right”

“I can’t guarantee anything Baekhyun, I don’t even know what I do in my sleep”

“That’s not a good argument if you want someone to sleep on the same bed as you”

Chanyeol scratched his head. “Fine I’ll make the separation just stop arguing with me, okay?”

I nodded.

Once Chanyeol had stuffed the middle of the bed with enough pillows, both of us lied down, on our sides.

“Your brother won’t be worried, will he?” Chanyeol asked after a while.

Since I’d left my phone hone, I had texted my brother from Chanyeol’s phone saying that I will not be coming home. “No it’s fine”

We turned silent again.

After a few minutes, Chanyeol turned towards me.

I automatically burst into a smile and I cocked my head to look at him.

“What?” I asked, thinking Chanyeol was in a fun mood. But his expression was grave.

“Baekhyun, can you promise me something?”

I did not know what it was about so I wasn’t sure if I should be making any promises.

“Promise what?”

“Promise me that you will never call yourself a slut again”

These words took me by surprise. Chanyeol had turned very angry when I had used the word previously. It really bothered him.

Despite my apprehensions, I wanted to make the promise to Chanyeol. And so I did.

“I promise” I said.

Chanyeol let out a heavy breath. “I won’t let anyone at school call you that either”

“You don’t have to. You can’t shut everyone up. And honestly, I don’t care as long as my friends support me”

“Kyungsoo is a very good guy” Chanyeol said and it kind of made me happy to hear him say nice things about my friend.

“So are Kai and Suho” I said.

At the mention of Kai’s name, I saw something shift in Chanyeol’s face.

“Why did you do that?” I asked, “Why did you say those mean things to Kai?”

Chanyeol turned away and stared at the ceiling.

“Because I knew he was in love with me. I couldn’t let him have those feelings. If I hadn’t been that rude to him, he would have thought that I am leading him on and I couldn’t do that to him. He needed closure to move on from me so that I could be with the one I like”

I froze. Did I hear right? Did he just say that he liked someone else?

Hearing Chanyeol say those words, made my heart sink for some reason.

“You... you like someone else?” I asked.

At this, Chanyeol turned his head and looked at me with a smile. “I do”

I had so many questions, so many things to ask but I did not know if I had the right.

“Who?” I asked, instead.

“Just a first year student. I have had my eyes on him since I saw him on the first say, wearing a black Coldplay t-shirt, carrying a backpack and minding his own business.”

“He looked so cute, sitting by the cafeteria, munching on fries that I wanted to rush over and kiss him.” Chanyeol continued and with each word, my heart sank a little deeper. “He looked like a porcelain doll with his all-black outfit and black hair with red highlights.

I felt something ugly in the pits of my stomach. Was I jealous of this guy Chanyeol was talking about? I didn’t even know who the guy was. Almost half of the boys wore Coldplay t-shirt but I didn’t remember seeing anyone with black hair and red highlights. Is that what Chanyeol liked, brunettes? I glanced at my hair that fell over my eyes. My hair was dyed bubblegum pink.

What I did not understand was, if Chanyeol liked that guy, why had he asked me on a date? Why had he been so protective over me and why had he beaten the Jimmy guy up? But most importantly, if Chanyeol liked someone else, what was I doing here, on his bed?

Had I mistaken a completely innocent signal of friendship with something else? But what was that something else? I didn’t want any involvement with Chanyeol. Maybe it was a good thing he liked someone else. I wouldn’t have to lie to Kai anymore.

I turned around, a little bitter and a little angry. “Good night Cheongmul”

“Good night Baekhyun”

> ** _Velleitie (n):_ ** _ A wish or powerful desire for something that nonetheless is not or cannot be followed by actions meant to pursue it_

I left before Chanyeol could wake up. It was Saturday and I really had no reason to stay any longer, especially after knowing that Chanyeol liked someone else. And weekend meant no school which meant I wouldn’t have to see him for two days. Maybe I could sort my feelings out in this time.

The weekend passed and I was so busy with helping my parents on various errands that I didn’t have time to think about Chanyeol.

When I reached school on Monday, I told Kai and Suho the truth behind the photos and everything that happened. Both Kyungsoo and I decided to not tell him about Chanyeol being involved in this. I believed that was for the best.

For the next few days, I had managed to avoid both Chanyeol and unnecessary slander on me. At this point, I had stopped giving a fuck. Chanyeol could very well go ahead and hook up with the guy he liked, I did not care anymore. And the people around me would never really stop gossiping so I turned indifferent towards them.

Before I could track how fast time went, the holiday season had already approached and we were a week away from Halloween.

“Did you hear?” Kai came running towards me and Kyungsoo while we were sitting by the bench on the campus. “This year’s annual event for Halloween is an auction”

“An auction?” Kyungsoo asked. “For what?”

Kai began jumping in excitement. “Taking one of the 3rd year boys home for one night”

“I don’t think that’s legal, Kai” I said at the preposterous idea. “Who even came up with something so disgusting?”

Kai was beaming and I understood. “Don’t tell me, it was Park Chanyeol, wasn’t it?”

Kai nodded so frantically I felt like his head would fall off.

“Of course” I said, “who else has a brain as dirty as him”

“Easy tiger” Kyungsoo said. “What’s with the sudden hatred towards Chanyeol?”

“Sudden?” I asked, scoffing. “I think we all know how much I have hated him since I first saw him”

“Umm okay” Kyungsoo said, raising an eyebrow.

“Anyway” Kai interrupted. “As I was saying, we all get to bid on the seniors”

“You mean to say you’re going to bid for Chanyeol” Suho’s interrupted up as he sneaked in behind Kai.

“Why is that even a question?” Kai asked. “Of course I am going to bid on Chanyeol and I am going to win”

Just then my phone buzzed.

I pulled it out and saw it was a message from Chanyeol.

‘You’ve been avoiding me’ it read. I turned the screen off and got back to what Kai was saying.

“…all my saving for this. This is my moment”

Kyungsoo turned his glance towards me and I gave him a ‘what?’ look. He shrugged and turned his attention to Kai.

“What if someone else bids for him?” Kyungsoo asked. “And they win?”

Kai’s face turned morbid. “It’s not going to happen”

My phone buzzed again and this time, it wasn’t just one message, but multiple.

> **Cheongmul:** ‘Why did you leave without saying goodbye?’
> 
> **Cheongmul:** ‘How long will you keep avoiding me?’
> 
> **Cheongmul:** ‘Talk to me’
> 
> **Cheongmul:** ‘Talk to me’
> 
> **Cheongmul:** ‘Talk to me’
> 
> **Cheongmul:** ‘Talk to me’
> 
> **Cheongmul:** ‘Talk to me’
> 
> **Cheongmul:** ‘Talk to me’
> 
> **Cheongmul: **‘Please talk to me’
> 
> **Cheongmul:** ‘Puppy dog face’

I closed my eyes in frustration.

> **Me:** ‘What do you want?’
> 
> **Cheongmul:** There is an auction next week
> 
> **Me:** So?
> 
> **Cheongmul:** I am available for sale *wink*
> 
> **Me: **Idc
> 
> **Cheongmul:** Oh come on, I know you want to bid on me
> 
> **Me:** I do not because I am not interested in this stupid shit
> 
> **Cheongmul: **:(
> 
> **Me:** ‘Are you done?’

I did not want him to be done.

> **Cheongmul:** ‘The auction… you= bid on me’
> 
> **Me:** ‘Whatever you’re doing, is illegal. And I do not want to be a part of it’
> 
> **Cheongmul:** ‘But the collection is for the repair work at the orphanage near our school’

I stared at the message. Chanyeol was holding this auction for charity?

> **Me:** ‘Couldn’t you think of any other event if you wanted to do some social work? Selling yourself off is the best idea you have?’
> 
> **Cheongmul:** ‘Oh my god are you jealous? Should I start sending our wedding invites?’
> 
> **Me:** ‘STFU’ ‘
> 
> **Cheongmul:** ‘Okay I’m sorry. You know these kids with raging hormones… No one will give a shit unless they are given something tempting, like sex’
> 
> **Me:** ‘So your plan is to be sold off and have sex with someone? And you told me not to call myself a slut. Can you see the irony here?’
> 
> **Cheongmul:** ‘You promised not to use that word, Baekhyun’

The sudden use of my name by him made my heart flutter.

> **Me:** ‘You really do not have the right to collect on the promise when that’s exactly what you’re doing. Now stop texting me or I will block you.’

After I hit sent, I stared at the screen, waiting for him to reply. And I did not know why I was desperate for his message. But it never came.

“Hello?” Kai asked. “Are you listening to me?”

“Huh?” I looked up from my phone. “What did you say?”

“Who do you think this person is who wants to bid on Chanyeol?”

The question made me flustered. “How am I supposed to know?” I asked.

I wondered if I should tell Kai that Chanyeol liked someone else. Maybe it would actually help him move on.

“You know Kai, I heard from someone that Chanyeol actually likes someone”

All three eyes turned towards me, but the most suspicious one was Kyungsoo’s for some reason.

“Who?” Kai asked, threateningly. “Who does he like?”

“I don’t know who it is. All I know is that it’s a brunette with red highlights and apparently likes Coldplay”

“That’s Chanyeol’s favorite band” Kai exclaimed. “Who told you this?”

Kai looked like he would lose it any moment.

“I don’t know I just overheard I guess”

“I must find out who it is” Kai said, turning around and rushing away before any of us could stop him. Suho ran after him but Kyungsoo stayed still.

“Is it true?” Kyungsoo asked.

I nodded. “He told me himself”

“So he doesn’t like you?”

“He doesn’t” I said. “And I am kind of relieved”

Kyungsoo smiled and picked his bag up to get to the next class. “Then why does your face say otherwise, Baek?”

> ** _Saudade (n):_ ** _ The love that remains; a desire to be near someone or something distant_

The day of the auction was the most anticipated day of the year. Everyone was excited and I had never seen them be so psyched about anything like they were about this.

Despite my reluctance to be at the event, I had been dragged by my friends. The basketball court where the auction was to take place, had been completely transformed. The floor had been turned into a ramp with a podium and the place was full of Halloween decorations.

The four of us found our seats and got comfortable. There was a small card with number on each and I presumed they’d have to hold it up each time they bid so they could be identified by the numbers.

Soon enough, the event started.

One by one, the seniors from high school began walking down the ramp. I recognized only some of them.

The first guy’s bid was closed at $300. The second guy’s bid ended at $450. One after the other, the bids took place and the amount always dabbled between $300 and $700.

“Now for the final bid of the evening” the announcer said and my heart started beating uncontrollably. Someone would bid on Chanyeol. They would take him home tonight. Probably Kai. I had to admit the thought left a bitter taste in my mouth.

I looked over at Kai and found that he was asleep. I nudged him a little, trying to wake him up.

“Kai” I whispered. “The final bid is about to start”

Kai did not move. “Kai” I said, poking my finger onto his waist but he slept unbothered.

“Because of a special request, we have had a last minute alteration” the announcer said and I turned my attention towards the podium. “Today, for the final bid, we have a first year student”

Half of the crowd whined in anger while the other half cheered.

“As the final bid, I present to you, Mr. Oh Sehun, instead of Mr. Park Chanyeol”

Hearing the name Chanyeol, Kai immediately jumped from his seat. “$1500” he yelled through the crowd, loud enough for everyone to hear.

The entire place turned silent as I, Suho and Kyungsoo looked at Kai in horror. What had he done? He had heard only Chanyeol’s name instead of the complete announcement and bid $1500 on Sehun.

Kai was smiling and I turned my eyes towards the ramp. Even Sehun had stopped on his tracks, shocked by what had just happened.

“What?” Kai asked, looking at us.

“Look ahead” Kyungsoo said, hiding his face in his hand.

Kai turned his eyes and looked at the ramp. Standing there, looking right back at Kai, was Sehun, instead of Chanyeol.

“$1500 going once” the announcer said and Kai frantically turned his head towards him.

“$1500 going twice”

“What?” Kai asked again, too shocked for his brain to function.

“$1500 going thrice”

“No” Kai began to yell but his voice was drowned by the loudspeaker yelling “Sold”

Sinking back to his chair, Kai looked drained of blood. “What have I done?”

Once the bids were done, the winners were asked to stay back to pay and collect their wins while the rest were asked to wait outside.

Suho had already left and I and Kyungsoo stood by the school gate, waiting for Kai.

“Did you see his sulky face when he was heading over for the payment?” Kyungsoo asked.

I laughed. “I still can’t believe he did that”

“It’s not Kai if a thing like this doesn’t happen to him” Kyungsoo laughed.

Just then, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

I turned around to find Chanyeol standing there.

“I’ll see what’s taking Kai so long” Kyungsoo said and immediately left before I could stop him.

“Hi” Chanyeol said, smiling at me. I wanted to smile back, so fucking bad but I did not. Even though I was happy Chanyeol wasn’t in the list of auctioned boys, I was still hung up on the idea that he liked someone else.

“What?” I asked, sounding as cold as possible.

Chanyeol stared at me like he hadn’t seen me for weeks. It was true but it hadn’t been weeks, rather just days.

“You’re so fucking beautiful Baekhyun” Chanyeol said, brushing my hair from my forehead.

I shuddered at the touch. What was he doing?

“Why weren’t you in the auction?” I asked.

“I decided to save myself for the one I like”

Unknowingly, my hands formed into tight fists. Why was he telling this to me? What had I to do with the guy liked? And what business did he have, touching me and calling me beautiful when there was someone else he had saved himself for?

“Good for you” I said.

“When will you say yes to that date I asked you out on?”

I stared at Chanyeol in surprise. Was he kidding me? This guy had no shame. He had literally confessed to me that he was interested in someone else and yet he had the audacity to ask me out on a date? What was I? A backup plan for when that guy refused him? Or just an option till he said yes?

“You’re really cruel, do you know that?”

Chanyeol blinked. “Baekhyun, what’s wrong?” he said, coming closer and I closed my eyes. Despite how much I hated him and how much I wanted him gone, one move from him would make me weak. When he came closer, I smelled the familiar fragrance of musk on him like I had done when I was tending to his wounds.

I opened my eyes and glanced at his face. Almost all the bruises had been healed, except the one on his lower lip. It was taking time. And it made me wonder how wounded this thing between me and him was. It was not a relationship. It wasn’t even a friendship. We weren’t even acquaintances. But despite the fact that I was nothing to him and he was nothing to me, he had the ability to wound me so deeply that it took me forever to heal.

He took another step closer and I felt like all the air between us had been sucked out. He reached out and placed his hand on the side of my face. I closed my eyes and leaned on to his hand, slightly, like it was giving me support. I felt a drop of tear trickle down my eyes and fall on his hand.

“Baek” Chanyeol whispered and I shut my eyes even tighter.

“Don’t call me that” I said.

“Baekhyun, tell me what’s wrong?”

I could feel Chanyeol’s breath on my cheeks. If he came any closer, our lips would meet.

Suddenly I realized what I was doing. Opening my eyes, I jerked away from Chanyeol.

“Stay away from me” I yelled and turned away.

Before I could move forwards, I felt Chanyeol’s hand grab mine and it crushed all my convictions and resolves.

I wanted to turn around and face Chanyeol, I wanted to feel his lips on mine but when I looked ahead, I saw Kai staring at us.

I jerked my hand away from Chanyeol and called Kai’s name out. But he turned away. Taking Sehun’s hand in his, he walked in the opposite direction.

I did not know what to do anymore.

It felt like my entire life had crumbled down. As I watched Kai move farther and farther away, I felt like I was drowning in a sea of my own mistakes.

Chanyeol came rushing to me but Kyungsoo got to me first.

“I think it’s best if you leave, Chanyeol” Kyungsoo said. “For now”

I did not know if Chanyeol left or if he was still there, I did not know how much time had passed but when I was able to gather my senses back, I found myself in my room.

I wanted my mind to shut down. I wanted it all to stop. Closing my eyes, I went to sleep.

> ** _Cicatrize (v):_ ** _ To find healing by the process of forming scars_

I did not go to school the entire week following the auction. I avoided going out and avoided everyone. I had even turned my phone off. I knew I needed to sort this shit out by myself.

Sometimes around Wednesday of the next week, I gathered myself up from the mess and decided to apologize to Kai for being stupid.

Even though I was scared of confronting Kai, I was more scared of losing him as a friend. So with every fiber of strength I could gather within myself, I walked over to our usual table where I found Suho, Kai and Kyungsoo sitting.

As I got closer, all three eyes turned towards me. I had expected Kai to yell or to at least hit me, I had expected them to walk away or tell me that they hate me and never want to see my face but instead, I was met by dead silence.

“Can… Can I sit?” I asked.

All three of them looked at me oddly.

“Um… yeah, I guess?” Kyungsoo replied.

I slouched down and looked at Kai.

“I need to talk to you” I said.

“Umm okay” Kai replied. “What about?”

“About what happened after the auction last week”

Kai formed a slight pout and nodded. “Okay.”

I took a deep breath and looked at Kyungsoo and Suho and both of then gave me a slight nod.

“I am sorry I betrayed you Kai” I began, “It was never my intention to get involved with Chanyeol, especially after knowing what he did to you”

“Then why did you?” Kai asked.

Why did I? I could have lied to Kai and said that it was just a mistake, I could have told him that it was Chanyeol who came on to me but that wasn’t true. I was, if not completely, invested in him too.

“Because I couldn’t help it” I finally replied.

“Do you like him?” Kai asked.

“I… I don’t know yet”

Kai sighed and tapped his finger on the table.

“Baekhyun” he said suddenly and I looked up from my fingers that I was scratching. “Every time you said that I deserved better and that Park Chanyeol is nothing but an asshole and a fuckboy, did you say those things because you liked him?”

“What?” I asked. “No Kai. Absolutely not. I did hate him and I hated that boy with every inch of my life but… but then things changed”

“When?” Kai asked.

“When my photos were leaked on the school website” I replied, sinking my head low.

“You mean when Chanyeol beat Jimmy up?”

I looked up at Kai in astonishment. “You knew?”

“The whole school knows Baek”

I saw a hint of smile on Kai’s face and I felt like I could finally breathe.

“Do you want to be with him?” Kai asked and I immediately shook my head but soon, I gave in to my own desires and turned it into a nod.

Kai laughed. “Look at you, you seem more confused than me”

“I don’t yet know what I want”

Kai cocked his head a little. “If I say I’m still in love with Chanyeol, will you still want to be with him?”

“No” I replied. “I won’t”

“You know what Baek, I am glad that you at least didn’t hide the truth from me”

I looked at him in confusion. After a moment, I spoke. “But I did hide it from you”

Kai closed his eyes and smiled. “I know, but I am glad you respected me enough to come clean”

“Are… are we still friend?” I asked.

“What do you mean, silly?” Kai looked at me like I was speaking gibberish. Maybe I was. “We never stopped being friends”

“We didn’t?”

All three of the shook their heads.

Just then Sehun walked up to us. “Hey guys” he said. “Oh hey Baekhyun”

“Umm hi” I said, raising an eyebrow. What was he doing here?

He sat down and started picking food from Kai’s tray.

“1.30?” he asked suddenly and I saw Kai nod.

“1.30”

I was still trying to comprehend what was happening when Sehun got up, walked over to where Kai was and placed a long, steaming kiss on his lips.

“I’ll miss you” Sehun said.

Kai blushed and smiled at him. “I’ll miss you more”

“I’ll cave your faces in with my punch if you don’t stop” Suho added and Sehun scooted off immediately.

I stared at Kai with my jaw dropped.

“What… what just happened?”

“Kai and Sehun hit it off on the night of the auction” Kyungsoo said. “We tried to get in touch with you but your phone was constantly off. We figured you just needed time to sort things out so we didn’t push”

“Wait…” I began, “Him and Sehun are a thing?” I asked Suho while I pointed my finger at Kai.

“Yeah” Suho said, “I can’t believe it either. I always thought Sehun had a thing for me”

“The only thing Sehun had for you was motherly feeling because you keep buying him food” Kai snapped.

“But he is so cute, who can deny babying him?”

“Anyway” Kai interrupted. “The point is, I am not hung up on Chanyeol” he said, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

“Really?” I asked.

Kai shrugged. “I guess I never was. I was probably holding on to the idea of Chanyeol I had in my mind. But now that I am over it, I can see how stupid I’ve been”

“Amen to that” Kyungsoo added.

“So…” Kai continued, ignoring Kyungsoo. “A certain someone can like him, without any guilt”

I blinked and pointed my finger at myself. “Me?”

Kai nodded and smiled. “Go be with him Baek. I have seen how he looks at you”

I shook my head. “I don’t think so Kai. He likes someone else”

“Huh?” Kai asked.

“Remember the boy I told you about? The one with black hair and red highlights?”

Kai nodded. “He’s the one Chanyeol likes. He told me so himself”

“Baek” Kai began, “there is no boy with black hair and red highlights. Trust me, I’ve checked”

“There has to be one, maybe you missed him?”

Kai thought for a moment. “I guess I could have missed a few people. So what are you going to do?” he asked.

I pursed my lips. “Nothing. I do not intend to get involved with him”

“If you all are done being emo and shit, we need to get to class” Kyungsoo said. “Think about what you want, Baek. See you at lunch”

I watched them leave and the only thing I could feel was relief. They were still my friends and at this point, I didn’t care about Chanyeol or anyone else except the three people who had just left the table.

> ** _Aspectabund (adj):_ ** _ Letting or being able to let expressive emotions show easily through one’s face and eyes_

As days passed, things between me and Kai turned more than normal. He seemed really happy with Sehun and this, in turn, made me very happy too. Kai truly deserved the best and Sehun was an absolute gem.

Every day, I went to school with a resolve to avoid Chanyeol and every day, I was successful. Not only because I steered clear of wherever he was, but also because he too, was avoiding me. Even though the feeling of being ignored by him was devastating, I also felt kind of relieved that I wouldn’t have to deal with the pressure of breaking another potential relation between him and whoever he liked.

The Christmas breaks were due to start in 2 days and Christmas was 4 days away. Most of the school was already on leave. Some had gone on a vacation with friends while others with their family. When the school got over, I decided to stay at the library a little longer. I didn’t want to go home just yet because my brother was obsessed with rock music and he would blast the music through the house all day until my parents came in the evening and smacked some sense into his brain.

This place was peaceful and quiet and even the librarian had taken the day off. So it was practically just me here.

I had always found the calmness of libraries comforting. This was my comfort place, a place I went to when I had nowhere to go.

As I sat on one of the chairs, I recalled my events over the past six or so months. It was only a few months ago when I had hated being at school so much that I wanted to run away. The first day, when all first years had gathered for orientation, I remember how we had been called for a batch photo in the basketball court and how much I had sulked. The photo would be out tomorrow in the year book and I couldn’t bring myself to looking at one because I remember the face I had made when the photographer said ‘cheese’.

But then I remembered that tomorrow was also the day my article would be published in the yearbook.

Christmas was 4 days away and I had never felt so happy and so sad, at the same time.

I got up and decided to find myself a book. As I walked between shelves, I landed on fiction department and I wondered if I should go for fantasy, thriller or romance. I ran my fingers through the shelf before picking up ‘The Inexplicable Logic of my Life’.

The moment I removed the book from the shelf, I looked ahead through the empty space and found a familiar pair of eyes staring at me.

Chanyeol was standing on the opposite side.

“Hi” he said and I could make out he was smiling, even though all I could see was just his eyes.

“Hi” I said, my voice softer than I intended to be.

“Hi” he said.

“You’ve already said that”

I expected him to say something else but he didn’t. Instead, he turned away and I saw him leave. A part of me wanted to stop him, to keep hearing his voice, to keep answering his questions, but I knew it was all futile.

I took the book and was about to go back to my seat when Chanyeol suddenly appeared before me.

“Hi” he said again.

I looked up and stared into his eyes. “H… hi”

He took a step forward and almost immediately, I took a step back.

“Merry Christmas” he said, taking another step towards me.

“Yo… you too” I took another step back and stacked my back against the book shelf. Now I was stuck.

Chanyeol took one more step towards me till there was no space left between us.

My head eyes were fixed on the floor but I could tell, I could just tell that Chanyeol’s gaze was fixed on me.

He reached in and tilted my face up, with his finger under my chin.

Was it just me being stupid because I thought I saw longingness in his eyes, like they wanted something, like they wanted me?

“How long will you keep avoiding me Baek?” he asked but before I could answer, he placed a soft kiss on my left cheek.

I froze. What did he just do?

I closed my eyes and shivered as my breathing hitched.

“How long do I have to wait?” he asked and placed another kiss on my right cheek. My heart was beating rapidly. I felt the heat rushing to my cheeks. What was Chanyeol doing to me?

“How long are you going to deprive me of you?” throwing this question at me, Chanyeol rubbed his nose against mine, like an Eskimo kiss.

I leaned on the shelf behind me for support because I felt that I might crumble down if not for it.

I could not control anymore. I did not care if he liked someone else. Everything he was doing, drove me crazy and I couldn’t contain it any longer.

I opened my eyes and looked at him, staring straight into his dark brown orbs, that perky little nose and those luscious lips that I wanted on mine. I was breathing so fast that I felt like my ribs were closing in on me.

Chanyeol pulled me closer.

“Stop” I whispered but I could feel how weak my voice was because I didn’t actually want him to stop. Leaning slightly, Chanyeol reached down, his eyes never leaving the outline of my lips.

Just as he was about to kiss me, I heard a loud noise. I immediately turned around and saw that the shelf I had been leaning on, had toppled on to the other and in less than a minute, all the shelves in the library, starting from where I was standing, fell one after the other, like dominos.

“Fuck” I exclaimed.

Chanyeol gripped my wrist and I looked at him. “Run” he said. As he swooped me off, I managed to grab my bag and ran after him, or rather, with him, far from the library and far from the traces of the kiss that had never taken place.

We ran across the halls and Chanyeol then took me to one of the empty classes. We went inside and hid behind the door. Both of us looked at each other and we burst into a laugh, amidst all the panting and heaving.

We sat on the floor next to each other, our backs against the closed door. Once our breathing returned to normal, Chanyeol turned his eyes towards me. Reaching out, he brushed my hair from my eyes which had kind of become a habit. And I didn’t want to get used to it.

I held my bangs within my fingers and laughed.

“I’ve been meaning to get a haircut” I said, nervously.

“Don’t” Chanyeol said.

“Huh? Why?”

“Because I want to keep doing this” he said, running his fingers through the front of my hair.

I wanted him to keep doing it too but still, I moved a little away from him.

“This is a bad idea” I said after a while. “I think I should go”

“Baek” Chanyeol began but I stopped him.

“Don’t. Don’t make it any harder than it already is.”

“Can you at least tell me why you keep pushing me away?”

I chose not to reply because I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t sure why my heart and mind weren’t in sync. My heart beat for him uncontrollably but my mind told me to stay away, because he belonged to someone else.

I simply picked my bag up and walked out the door, leaving Chanyeol all by himself.

> ** _Moira (n): _ ** _A person’s fate or destiny _

“What are you guys doing for Christmas?” Kai asked the next day as we sat on the school lawn, basking under the sun. “I and Sehun are going on a week’s trip to his cabin” he said, excitedly.

“I am going to Paris with my family” Suho said.

“Volunteering at the children’s hospital” Kyungsoo said and we all turned to look at him in shock.

“What?” Kyungsoo asked. “I love kids”

“Wow” I replied. “I didn’t know this side of you at all”

Kyungsoo scowled. “What are you doing?”

“I have zero plans”

“Maybe you and Chanyeol can plan something” Kai suggested and I sighed.

“I don’t think so” I said, sounding more depressed than I actually was. I panned my eyes across the campus and found few of Chanyeol’s friends hanging out. But he wasn’t there.

Just then, Sehun came running towards us.

“The yearbook is out” he said, handing each of us one copy.

I was already in a rotten mood and watching my own photo in the book would make it even worse.

I saw the rest of them flip pages when a girl from first year came up to Sehun.

“Can you sign my yearbook?” she asked with a smile.

“Sure” Sehun said, nonchalantly, drawing his pen out.

“Can you also add a heart after your name?” the girl asked when Sehun was done signing and suddenly Kai gave him a death glare.

“Sorry but all my hearts are reserved for Kai” Sehun replied and Kai immediately turned his murderous rage into a smile.

“Smooth” Kyungsoo said and we all began laughing. After the girl left, the rest of them began going though the photos of the yearbook and I turned to my phone.

I tapped on the conversation with Chanyeol and the last message exchanged between us was me threatening to block him. That seemed like ages ago.

“Baek” suddenly Suho’s voice reached my ears and I quickly locked my phone. “Your article”

I was dreading this the most. Even more than my stupid photo.

“You don’t have to read it” I said.

“Shut up” Kai replied.

In the silence that followed, all four of them read what I had written.

“Baek” Kai was the first one to speak. I noticed he was crying.

“Is it that bad?” I asked.

Kai shook his head. “It’s beautiful” he said, sniffing lightly. I looked at Suho and Kyungsoo and both of them seemed to be holding back their tears.

“You… you wrote about our friendship” Suho said, fanning his eyes.

“I had to write about something that meant a lot to me”

“Aww” Kai wailed and jumped on me to hug me. I immediately fell back with Kai on top of me, refusing to let me go.

“Control your boyfriend” Kyungsoo said and Sehun laughed.

“If Chanyeol sees him like this, you’re both dead meat” Suho whispered and Sehun’s smile suddenly disappeared.

“Kai come back” he yelled, pulling Kai by the back of his collar.

Once Kai got off, I pulled myself up. The fact that they liked it, made me very happy.

“Did you find out who helped you with the article?” Kyungsoo asked.

“No” I said, shaking my head.

“Who could it be?” Suho asked.

“What do you mean?” Sehun asked. “It was Chanyeol”

“It wasn’t him” I said, turning to Sehun.

“Um it was. That’s why he was late for Kai’s party”

I shook my head. “He was at baseball practice” I said.

“What?” Sehun asked in confusion. “Chanyeol doesn’t even play baseball”

“But he told me so himself. He said it wasn’t him who had helped me”

“Baekhyun, I was there” Sehun said. “When he saw you sleeping, he thought of helping you so that you wouldn’t have to stress so much”

None of this was making sense.

Kai smiled at me, like he was expecting that it could only be Chanyeol and no one else. When I gave him a stern glare, he turned to the book and started flipping the pages.

“Why would he lie to me?” I asked at which Sehun shrugged. “I don’t understand. Why does he do such things? Why did he help me?”

“Baekhyun” Kyungsoo said. “Isn’t it obvious?”

What was obvious? Nothing about this was obvious.

“He likes you” Sehun said.

“Don’t be ridiculous Sehun” I replied. “He likes that brunette from first year with red highlights and Coldplay t-shirt”

“What the fuck?” Kai suddenly exclaimed and tapped his hand on Kyungsoo’s thigh relentlessly.

“Ow Kai” Kyungsoo cried. “What is wrong with you?”

It was like Kai’s words were stuck in his throat. Instead of saying something, he showed the yearbook to Kyungsoo, pointing to something.

“What the fuck?” Kyungsoo cussed.

“What’s wrong?” Sehun and Suho asked in unison and Kai showed them the yearbook too.

All four eyes turned towards me.

“What?” I asked. “What happened?”

Without a word, Kai turned the book upside down and showed me our batch photo.

“Baekhyun” Kai said. “Isn’t that you?” he asked, pointing to my face.

“Yeah” I said, “So?”

And then I saw it.

“Fuck” I said. “It’s me”

I looked at everyone sitting there and Kai was nodding like a maniac, ready to yell in happiness.

“It’s me” I said again, my heart beating uncontrollable. “Chanyeol likes me” I yelled finally.

I stared at the photo again. Standing on the second row in the corner, was me, a brunette with red highlights, wearing a black cold play t-shirt.

I couldn’t believe I had forgotten that I had worn this t-shirt for the first day. But at the end of the day, I had felt very close to my old self from old school so when the school day ended, I went to a salon and got my hair dyed and changed my wardrobe, throwing all of my old clothes away.

Kai jumped on me again and I couldn’t help but laugh. Before I knew, the other three jumped on Kai, crushing me completely.

“PARK CHANYEOL FUCKING LIKES ME” I said through my crushed windpipe.

Chanyeol had seen me on the first day. He had noticed me when no one else did.

> ** _Meraki (v):_ ** _ To do something with soul, creativity, or love; to put something of yourself in your work. _

Upon asking Sehun, I found out that Chanyeol wasn’t at school. He too had plans of spending some secluded time in his family’s cabin and he was due to leave in an hour. I had no time to lose. I left my bag with the rest and ran all the way to Chanyeol’s house. Much like the first time.

This time, despite how fast I ran, I reached his house in half an hour because there were too many people and too much traffic.

Standing outside his front door, I smiled. I couldn’t believe this was happening. He had liked me all along and I had run away from him like a fool.

Taking one heavy breath, I knocked on the door and waited, feeling a little nervous.

There was no reply.

Maybe Chanyeol was packing.

I knocked again.

Still, no one answered the door.

I pulled my phone out and called Sehun.

“There is no one here” I said into the phone once Sehun picked up.

“Maybe he’s already left” Sehun replied and my heart sank. I was not about to let Chanyeol slip away so easily this time.

“Can you ask him and confirm?” I asked.

“Okay” Sehun said and immediately hung up.

I paced up and down the porch, nervousness rising inside of me every second. I tapped on my phone endlessly, as if doing that would make Sehun call me any sooner.

After about 10 minutes, I got a message from Sehun.

Sehun: ‘He left early this morning’

I felt like someone was clawing my heart out. But then another message dropped.

Sehun: ‘Sending you the address’

Once I got the address, I felt like I could finally breathe. I realized that the cabin was at max, two hours drive away.

I did not wait any longer and rushed home.

“I’m taking the car” I announced to my brother as I picked up the keys. Hearing me, he leapt from in front of the TV.

“What for?”

“I am going to a friend’s cabin and I won’t be back until after Christmas”

“Wait, what do I tell mom and dad?”

“Say whatever you want, I don’t really care” I walked towards the door.

“Are you going to meet that Chanyeol fellow?” my brother asked and I suddenly stopped and turned around.

“How… how do you know about him?” How did he know about Chanyeol? I had never mentioned his name in front of my brother, ever.

“Remember when you had locked yourself up in your room around Halloween for a week?” he asked and I nodded.

“He came by every day”

“He what?”

My brother smiled. “Yeah he visited every day, asked if you were okay and left”

“Why… why didn’t you tell me before?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“He asked me not to” he said with a shrug.

I slammed my hand on my face. “Baekbeom, you are my brother, not his, have some loyalty man” I snapped.

“Well he said you’d get mad if you found out and I mean, he wasn’t wrong, look at you, always mad and angry and bitter”

“I… I just…” I began, “… shut up. I am going and Merry Christmas, I guess” I said, turning back to the door.

“Umm okay” he said.

I turned around again.

“What?” he asked. “What do you have to yell about now?”

“How much money do you have?” I asked.

“I don’t know” he said and both out eyes fell on his wallet kept on the table in the foyer.

He leapt to reach but I was closer and faster. I grabbed his wallet and ran off. “I’ll return when I get back” I shouted loud enough for my brother to hear.

> ** _Yuanfen (n):_ ** _ Two people meant to be together; destiny_

The traffic fucked my time estimation and following the directions, I drove for 4 straight hours before I reached the destination.

Chanyeol’s cabin was a secluded accommodation on the mountains. The area was pretty deep in the forest and I believed no one came here that often. I parked the car not far from the main entrance that was closed by barbed wire. I figured I’d have to walk the rest of the way up. It had begun to snow and I only had one jacket on with my normal sneakers that weren’t fit for a climb on a snowy mountain. But that did not stop me. I crossed the main gate and began my ascend.

It took me half an hour to finally see the outline of a house and I only prayed for it to be Chanyeol’s because I was freezing to death, it was almost 7 in the evening, the sun had already set long back and my only source of light was the flash from my phone which was about to die any minute. I saw faint lights coming from a cabin and I rushed towards it.

When I reached closer, I saw Chanyeol making logs out of wood.

“Hi” I said, teeth clattering and body shivering. I was pretty sure I was also covered in moderate amount of snow.

Hearing my voice, Chanyeol turned around and froze for a second.

“Hi” he finally said, walking closer to me.

He didn’t take his eyes off me and continued to walk till he was standing right in front.

Staring at me from head to toe, he pulled his hand up and brushed the snow off the top of my head and then off my shoulders. He then held me my by arms.

“Hi” I said, looking into his eyes and he smiled.

“You’ve already said that Baekhyun” he said and I smiled back, recalling the same conversation we had a few days ago, except our roles had been reversed.

“What are you doing here?” he finally asked.

“Do… do you intend on interrogating me here or can I come in and warm up first”

“Oh god, yes” he said. “Yes please come in”

He turned around, ready to walk towards the house but before he did, he took my hand in his and nudged me forward slightly.

I couldn’t help but smile.

On my way in, I saw Chanyeol pull his phone out and text someone. But he quickly put the phone back in his pocket.

The moment I entered the cabin, rich smell of something being baked engulfed me.

“What are you making?” I asked.

“I am baking Christmas cookies” Chanyeol replied softly before taking me to the fireplace and pulling up a char for me to sit.

My eyes lit up on hearing the words Christmas cookies. They were my absolute favorite thing about this holiday.

“Wait here” he said and left the small room.

He came back quickly enough with a thick blanket in his hand. Placing the blanket over me, Chanyeol wrapped me up completely.

His phone buzzed and he checked it in less than a few seconds before turning to me.

“Warm up” he said. “I’ll get you some hot cocoa”

Hot cocoa? Was it some fluke or did he know I loved hot cocoa in winters?

I shook my head. Who doesn’t love hot cocoa in winters?

The fire was such a comfort and I felt like staying in front of the fireplace forever.

Soon enough, Chanyeol came back with a tray and placed it on the table.

“Here” he said, handing me one of the two mugs and my eyes fell on the freshly baked cookies he had brought along.

I reached out but Chanyeol smacked my hand lightly.

“They’re hot” he said.

I did not realize but I must have made a very sad face because Chanyeol’s eyes turned soft. He picked one cookie up and broke it into pieces before cooling them down by blowing air on them. He kept the pieces back on the plate and looked at me.

“You can eat them now” he said and I leapt forward.

I saw him text on his phone again and when he was done, he tapped his foot on the floor like a nervous tick. After a while, he locked it.

“Do you mind if I play some music?”

I shook my head. Who would mind listening to music?

Chanyeol walked over to his music console and suddenly, Imagine Dragon’s It’s Time began playing.

I blinked at Chanyeol. There was no way he had pulled up three of my favorite things back to back. This was beyond coincidence.

“Umm Cheongmul, can I ask you something?” I said with a serious face and Chanyeol looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

“Really Baekhyun?” he asked. “You’re still going to call me that?”

“What do you mean?” I asked, feigning innocence, “Isn’t that your name?”

Chanyeol squinted his eyes in frustration and I held back a smile. “Never mind” he said. “What were you going to ask?”

“Oh yeah, I was just wondering if you have any dinner plans tonight?”

I saw him type on his phone again.

“Yeah” he said, looking at his phone. “I’ll be cooking”

“Really?” I asked, “What do you plan on making?”

He didn’t reply immediately but tapped his foot on the floor again.

“Mushroom Pasta” he announced and I knew something was fishy. All of these things were my favorites.

“Sauce?” I asked and he typed more.

“White” came a reply after a while.

“I don’t want to eat pasta tonight”

Chanyeol finally looked up from the screen. “You don’t?”

I shook my head. “I am in the mood for shrimps”

“Sh… shrimps?” he asked and for some reason he started typing again.

“You can’t have shrimps” he said.

“Why not?” I asked.

“Because you’re allergic”

Chanyeol you fool.

No one knew I had shrimp allergy except my family.

Chanyeol got back to his texting again.

“Tell Baekbeom I’ll return on 26th” I said.

“Okay” Chanyeol replied and began typing when he suddenly realized what he had done.

“What?” he asked, looking at me with wide eyes. “Who… who’s B… Baekbeom?”

“Your best friend, apparently” I said, sipping the hot cocoa.

Chanyeol looked like a toddler who had just been caught stealing candy and I couldn’t help but laugh at his innocent face.

“I know you’re texting him” I said. “Is that why you weren’t surprised to see me here at the cabin? Because my brother told you I was coming?”

Chanyeol nodded.

Two of the stupidest people came together to make the stupidest plan ever.

Chanyeol leaned forward from the couch hid his face in his hands. I looked at him and smiled. He was really cute when he was a little flustered.

“I heard you visited me every day around Halloween”

Chanyeol looked up and I realized that I had leaned forward too and the gap between us had closed down.

“He told you?” he asked and I nodded.

“That little snitch” Chanyeol said.

I smiled again. “Stop talking to my brother or your brain will rot”

Chanyeol rolled his eyes.

“I also know you submitted my article”

“Goddamnit” Chanyeol squealed. “Is everyone out there snitching on me?”

I laughed at his reaction. “No one snitched on you. It’s just that you make very stupid plans”

Suddenly Chanyeol brushed the hair away from my eyes again, like he had infused this habit within himself.

“Can we not talk about others?” he asked and I nodded.

“What do you want to talk about?”

“Us” Chanyeol said.

“Okay, let’s talk about us”

I saw Chanyeol take a deep breath and lean back, moving away from me.

“Why are you here Baekhyun?” he asked with seriousness in his eyes.

I placed the mug back on the coffee table and removed the blanket from around me. I was suddenly beginning to feel very warm at his question. So much so that I also had to take my jacket off until I sat in front of him in just my jeans and t-shirt.

“Do you hate me that much?” he asked.

“I don’t hate you” I said, my voice low but full of conviction. I stared into my palm because I was afraid that if I look at him, I would break down.

“Then why do you keep pushing me away?”

“I am sorry” I said. That was all I could say. It was my mistake. It was my misunderstanding. I did not have excuses to give.

“Baekhyun” he whispered and I looked up only to find him leaning in closer to me, much closer. “Please stop driving me crazy. And stop confusing me. One moment you want me near you and the next, you don’t want to see my face. I don’t know how long I can handle it”

“I am sorry” I said again, looking away.

“Stop apologizing and tell me, tell me honestly, why did you drive for 4 hours and walked in the snow and wind to come see me?”

I was trying to find words but they were difficult to come by.

And for some reason, I refused to look at Chanyeol.

He places hi finger under my chin and turned my head softly until our eyes met.

“Tell me why you’re here Baek” he whispered and I felt the warmth of his voice resonate through every inch of my body like the sun on a winter morning.

I looked at him and realized that I was being stupid, holding on to all these feelings inside of me when they should be out, in the open for Chanyeol to hear.

“Because I like you” I said and without hesitation, leaned forward, pressing my lips against Chanyeol.

The kiss took him by surprise but almost immediately, he snuck his hand behind my neck and held me firmly. We kissed wildly for an indefinite amount of time, till we were out of breath, till we were craving for more and till our lips had turned swollen. But neither of us stopped.

I snaked my arms around Chanyeol’s broad shoulders and he lifted me up with one sweeping force. Lips locked and bodies touching, Chanyeol took me to his room and closed the door behind him.

When we reached the bed, he softly laid me down, inseparable from the kiss we were sharing.

Our teeth cluttered and our tongues danced with all the movement but I didn’t let go of him and he didn’t let go of me.

Pulling away from the kiss, Chanyeol quickly took his t-shirt off and I couldn’t help but run my hands through his toned body. He looked like a sculpture and I remembered thinking the same when I had first seen him, almost naked. Back then I would have never imagined that we would end up like this, with me, specifically, under him.

He reached down and kissed me again, flipping positions till I was on top. Following his actions, I too got rid of my t-shirt. With me still on his lap, Chanyeol hoisted himself up and kissed me on the neck.

“Ah” I let out, unable to control myself anymore. Chanyeol trailed me with kisses from my neck to my shoulders and then just above my heart. I wondered how Chanyeol could make me feel so good with just his butterfly kisses.

I took his face in my hands and pressed my lips on his again, like this was the last time I’d get to hold him.

With one jerk, we switched positions again and this time, it was me who shed off every last piece of clothing I was wearing. Chanyeol did the same.

The moments our clothes hit the floor, Chanyeol rushed in to kiss me again.

This time, it was me who turned him over.

I showered his with soft pecks first between his eyebrows, moving down to his eyes, his nose, the soft dent on his cheek, his Adam’s apple, his shoulders and then I perked his nipples a bit.

“Ow” Chanyeol cried softly. “Baekhyun, I had no idea you were so fierce in bed” he teased, popping himself up a bit but I pushed him down again.

“Stay still” I said, sounding more commanding than I had imagined and the smile on Chanyeol’s face told me that he loved it.

I trailed him with more kisses until I reached his abdomen.

Chanyeol was hard and I was very tempted.

I saw Chanyeol tilt his head up and little, as if wondering what I was going to do.

Our eyes met.

Without breaking eye contact and without giving him any warning, I popped Chanyeol’s entire hardness in between my lips.

I heard Chanyeol scream in pleasure as my maw consumed him, inch by inch.

“Baekhyun” Chanyeol moaned and I crafted myself against him, making sure not to bite.

Chanyeol’s breathing paced as I sucked on him softly.

“Ah” he wailed when I popped my head, up and down against his shaft, running my tongue all over him.

“Baekhyun, stop” he said but the desperation in his voice told me otherwise. Chanyeol grabbed my shoulder, digging his nails into my shoulder and the pain only made me wilder. As I religiously took all of Chanyeol inside my moist mouth once again, I could tell he was on the verge of breaking. His length strained against the back of my throat but I did not care. The little discomfort was nothing compared to the look on Chanyeol’s face, every time I took him completely in.

I slowed down. I did not want Chanyeol to release so soon. I tended to him in slow, gentle strokes and he arched his back, screaming internally with pleasure. Just when he had gotten used to the slow pace, I increased it, making him scream again.

“Baek” his voice reached me. “Stop torturing me”

I smiled and this time, I ran my tongue across the tip. The sounds Chanyeol made, had probably never been heard before. He was screaming with euphoria and crying with pleasure and for some reason, it was I who felt content.

Holding his erection from the bottom, I began stroking him hard, while moving my mouth up and down, along with my hand.

Every few seconds, I sped up, taking him in and pulling him out till he was finally ready.

“Ah” he cried, curling his legs when he could no longer take it. “I’m about to come”

And with that, I felt a jet of warmth fill my throat and I immediately let him out.

I sat on the bed, my head resting on the bent of his knee as I wiped the last traces of Chanyeol from the corner of my lips.

Chanyeol popped himself up.

“Baek, you didn’t have to swallow” he said and I just looked at him like I was looking at the stars, in complete awe.

He held me by my nape and pulled me closer before kissing my lips. His wildness told me that he was ready again. I couldn’t help but smile.

Pinning me to the bed, Chanyeol held both my hands over my head.

“I am in control now” he said.

I laughed almost immediately. “We’ll see about th..” I began but Chanyeol muffled my words by crashing his lips into mine.

The harder he kissed me, the more I felt myself getting harder. Damn, Chanyeol knew how to turn me on.

Suddenly, he bit me on my lip and I winced slightly.

“Did you just bite me?” I asked, pulling away from him and looking at him, a little shocked. Chanyeol looked scared like he had done something terribly wrong.

“I am so sorr…” he began but I grabbed him by his neck and pulled him down, biting him back on his lips.

“Are we even now?” Chanyeol asked, once I was done biting him.

“No” I said pulling him in once more. “Do it again”

We kissed like barbarians and only slowed down because I was afraid I might bite him too hard and he would bust his lips.

Chanyeol buried himself into the arch of my neck and nibbled my skin softly and I ran my fingers through his hair, gripping him tightly and nudging him to not hold back.

Chanyeol found a soft spot behind my ear and began tracing his tongue over it gently. A wave of pleasure ran through my body. Every time Chanyeol sucked on it, I felt my knees go weak. How had he discovered such a weakness when even I didn’t know of its existence?

He moved on to the bottom of my earlobe and he began nibbling on it. With him right on top of me, bare skin against skin, there was no space between us. His hands ran all over me with a special liking to my thighs which he refused to let go.

He kneaded the insides of my thighs, gently at first and then becoming a little more violent and I loved every second of it.

I could feel how hard he was as his hardness kept crashing against my own with the slightest of the movement.

With his breathing uncontrolled and his heart racing, Chanyeol pulled back and stared at me, in all my rawness.

“You’re so fucking beautiful Baekhyun” he said.

Things happened so fast and Chanyeol reacted so quick that before I could even breathe, Chanyeol had already pushed himself inside of me.

“Fuck” I cried in pain, my eyes a little watery, “You could have at least given me a warning”

“I am sorry” Chanyeol said through his muffled moans. “I couldn’t control any longer”

Saying that, he gave me one forceful thrust and suddenly, all of him was inside of me. I screamed in pain but the pleasure of having Chanyeol in me, was far more.

He began moving slowly and I could see that he was trying his best to not hurt me anymore. But the pain inflicted on me by him was a kink I never expected I’d love.

“Relax” I said when I noticed how stiff Chanyeol was, keeping his movement restricted. I ran my hand up his shoulders till I reached his neck and pulled his down, slowly. “Calm down, you’re not hurting me” I said before I parted my lips and felt Chanyeol melt in my arms. I wrapped my hands around his shoulders, assuring him that I was fine and it seemed to work. Chanyeol’s still shoulders slacked a little and his body turned soft.

Spreading my legs wider, I gave Chanyeol the freedom to push like he wanted to, like he was dying to.

Drawing my hands out, I grabbed Chanyeol by his butt cheeks and pulled him inside of me with a strong force.

The friction caused by the lack of lube was almost intoxicating. Chanyeol’s eyes flew wide open as he felt every inch of me on every inch of him.

Slow at first, Chanyeol began his thrusts.

“Ah” Chanyeol let out against my lips and I closed my eyes, reveling in the moment.

“Does it still hurt?” Chanyeol asked, increasing his pace a little.

“Not much” I said. I was still in pain but it was quite less as compared to before.

“Arch you back a little” he suggested and I followed. He was, after all, the most experienced one in the room.

The moment I shifted my hips and arched by merely a few inches, a jolt of pleasure ran through my spine.

“Oh god” I said, as Chanyeol hit the spot once more and I cried, not in pain but in absolute bliss.

Chanyeol buried himself against my neck once more, finding the spot behind my ear, to increase my pleasure and I swore I could just come from Chanyeol staying at my neck.

“Fuck me harder” I moaned into his ears and he grabbed me tightly before pulling himself out once. Just as I had asked him to, Chanyeol began pushing into me with a newfound speed. Each time he went in, I felt like I would explode. He kept on ramming against me and I thought I couldn’t control any longer.

Mere seconds before I was about to come, Chanyeol pulled out.

“Turn around” he said, grabbing me by my thighs and flipping me over.

At first I thought he would fuck me as I lay on the bed with my stomach pressed down but Chanyeol had other ideas.

“Grab the bed post” he said.

I crawled forward and grabbed the bedpost with both my hands, my knees bent and my body straight.

Chanyeol sneaked up behind me and this time too, without any warning, thrusted himself inside. But this time, I did not feel the pain like I had the first time.

“Don’t let go” he softly whispered in my ears and I held on to the bedpost with all my might. Chanyeol began pushing himself inside of me once again and I arched my back, engulfed in the feeling of pure contentment. I finally understood why Chanyeol had asked me to hold tight. So that I would not propel forward when he thrusted himself in me. Chanyeol held me by my waist and fucked me like I had never been fucked before.

Just when I thought this was the finality of my satisfaction, Chanyeol slowed down again. Pressing his body against my back, he locked my shoulders with one of his arms while the other, found me down there.

His hands were so big that they took me entirely in one tight grasp.

“Fuck” I cried as I felt him slowly ramming himself inside of me while his hand, ran up and down my shaft. I moaned again with the pleasure that had increased two folds.

As if fucking me and stroking me wasn’t enough, Chanyeol sunk low and found the spot behind my ear again.

“Mmmhhh” I let out. This was beyond what I could take and feel at once.

My mind went numb. All I could feel was a bolt of lightning that ran through my entire body. His hand worked on my hardness with the utmost care while still making me go weak on my knees. His thrusts were soft, but still made me wild and his tongue behind my ear was eager and yet made me feel satisfied.

Suddenly, I threw my head back, resting it on Chanyeol’s shoulder and his hand found my neck. Placing his hand gently, just above my collarbone, Chanyeol began to increase the speed of his thrusts.

“Aah” I moaned as one of my hand involuntarily left the bedpost and reached behind my back, sinking deep into Chayeol’s butt.

As my nails dug deeper, Chanyeo’s thrusts became wilder. His other hand was still rubbing me hard and every inch of my body was ready to give in.

In less than a minute, Chanyeol pace increased again and that was it.

As I felt Chanyeol come inside of me, I let go and released myself too as the warm, thick liquid splattered across Chanyeol’s pillows and bedpost.

Panting and exhausted, both of us dropped down on the bed.

Chanyeol lay on his back with his hands open, and I lay flat on my stomach, staring at Chanyeol.

He looked at me and I noticed the trail of sweat all over his face.

He leaned in and kissed me on my lips lightly, before brushing my hair from my eyes.

He turned and rested on his side, eyes locked with mine.

“Say my name” he whispered.

“Cheongmul?” I teased.

He scowled and I chucked. Sighing, he tried to pop himself up, ready to leave the bed.

“Okay I’ll say your name” I said, pulling him back down.

He looked at me in an anticipation I had never seen before. “Chanyeol” I whispered and I saw him close his eyes. Like he was absorbing the sound deep within his skin. Like me calling out his name, was something he had waited for, for a long time.

“Say it again” he said, eyes still closed.

I leaned closer and reached his ears. “Chanyeol” I whispered. “Chanyeol, Chanyeol, Chanyeol, Chanyeol, Chanyeol” I repeated and he opened his eyes.

“I love you so damn much Byun Baekhyun”

I tried to hide the smile that was forming but it was of no use, I was too deep in love with him too.

“Me too, Park Chanyeol”

I had never seen Chanyeol smile like the way he was smiling at that moment. He pulled me closer and placed a kiss on my forehead.

“Dinner?” he asked.

“Famished” I nodded.

**THE END.**

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this was literally my first attempt at smut and I have no freaking clue what I wrote. So please feel free to comment and tell me where I went wrong. ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ 
> 
> Happy reading.
> 
> Follow me here if you want  
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